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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23606089">Taking Control</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KameTerra/pseuds/KameTerra'>KameTerra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TMNT (2007), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bros with Benefits, But could it be more?, Drama &amp; Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Drama, I'm no good at this hashtag stuff, M/M, Male Slash, T-Cest, T-Slash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:01:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23606089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KameTerra/pseuds/KameTerra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Michelangelo really enjoys getting under Leo's skin... oh yes. And he enjoys what follows even more.  But what starts out as simply having fun grows more complicated, until even Mike isn’t sure what he wants anymore.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leonardo/Michelangelo (TMNT)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Off Script</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I thought I would never write T-cest.  I have nothing against it, it's just never been my thing.  And then one day, completely out of nowhere, I felt compelled to write a little blurb between Mike and Leo that kept running through my head, and this fic was born.  There is something in the dynamic between these two that I find completely fascinating, and my muse subsequently took off running with it.  So here it is, the first chapter of my very first T-cest!<br/>A big thanks to Winnychan, my constant cheerleader on this story (once she got over her shock that KT WROTE TCEST).  Comments and constructive criticism are welcome and appreciated!  Also, fair warning, my updates are slow.  I beg patience, and I hope you enjoy the ride!  ~KT</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
“Come in.”</p><p>Michelangelo pushed the door open and peeked in.  When he spied Leo, he took a few heavy steps forward, looking properly dejected.<br/>
<br/>
“Close the door,” his brother said brusquely as he finished knotting his mask.<br/>
<br/>
Sighing audibly, Mike turned and pushed the door closed behind him.  When he turned back to Leo, he broke at once into a grin. “So?” he prompted.<br/>
<br/>
“So what?” Leonardo said.  Now he was arranging his knee pads neatly on the rack that hung on his wall.  It looked like the rack was probably made for belts or neckties, but since they had no use for neckties, it was perfect for keeping all of Leo’s gear organized and off the floor.<br/>
<br/>
Mikey preferred the floor, but to each their own, he supposed.  “So… I did good, right?” His grin widened.  </p><p>Leo’s unsmiling gaze settled on him.  Finally. “I don’t know how you think that was in any way good.”<br/>
<br/>
Unabashed, the younger turtle strode right past his brother, and flopped with a huff on the crisply made bed.  He turned so he was lying on his side facing Leo, and propped his head on one hand. He knew his brother hated it when he did this, and yup, there it was--the subtle tightening of facial muscles that turned his mouth into a flat line.  “Are you kidding me?” Mike answered. “I don’t like to brag or anything--”</p><p>“Yes you do.”</p><p>“Okay, <em> okay </em> , but I totally should brag about this because I was <em> awesome </em>!  Definitely Emmy-worthy.”</p><p>“That’s what you said last time,” Leo said, no crack in that steely demeanor.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, well, Oscar-worthy then,” Mike shrugged.  Then he frowned. “Speaking of last time, I think we need to tweak the interval here.  Last time was… what. More than two weeks ago? I thought I went far enough during Tuesday’s practice, but when you didn’t say anything, I knew I had to up my game today.  Wouldn’t want anyone to get suspicious.” Aaaand cue cheeky wink.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Leo’s brows drew down.  “Michelangelo—”<br/>
<br/>
“Oh, you were good too, by the way,” he added breezily.  “The way you acted all stern, and then held it all in until you finally just BLEW UP at me?  That was just sooooo ‘Leo.’ I mean it. Keep working on it, and you’ll be giving me a run for my money with the Academy.”</p><p>“I wasn’t acting, and you know it!  I spent <em> hours </em> preparing for today’s training, and you completely disrupted it all because you, you…”  His words stalled out there, but his hands continued to gesture at Mike, as if they would appear there in the air in front of him.<br/>
<br/>
“Because I what?”  Oh, this was fun.<br/>
<br/>
“YOU KNOW WHY!” Leo flashed, but Mike could see the rise of a blush on his cheeks, and it made his tail twitch a little.</p><p>“Aww, you’re really upset, huh?  C’mere,” he said scootching back to make room and patting the bed next to him.  “Give me a <em> stern </em> talking to.”</p><p>“If you think any of <em> that </em> is gonna happen after what you pulled—”</p><p>“I hate to point this out,” Mike interrupted, sitting up a little, “but if history is any predictor, <em> that </em> is exactly what’s going to happen.”   As he watched his brother’s face, he could see Leo was actually clenching his jaw now.</p><p>“No.  I told you, we’re not doing this anymore.”</p><p>“Oh.  You were SERIOUS about that?” Mike said, his eyes going all wide.</p><p>Leo’s eyes, in contrast, narrowed still more.  “You KNOW I was! I specifically told you we’re done with that, and not to pull any shit in training anymore, Mikey!  That’s why I ignored it on Tuesday!”</p><p>“Oh.  Then why did you call me in here this afternoon?”</p><p>“TO TELL YOU YOU NEED TO CUT IT OUT!!”<br/>
<br/>
Mike noted his brother’s quick, panting breaths, and figured he was just about there.  He let his feet drop down to the floor, and then rose and deliberately approached until he was almost chest-to-chest with Leonardo.  His brother held his ground, but he was clearly not comfortable with the invasion of his personal space.</p><p>“That’s good, lay it on me,” Mikey urged quietly.   “You know… for the sake of anyone walking by.”</p><p>Yep.  That did it.  Leo looked <em> furious </em> .  The turtle in blue was radiating heat, though; as close as he was standing Mike could feel it, even without touching him.  When he lifted his hands and let them come to rest on his brother’s upper biceps, the taught muscles quivered a little.<br/>
<br/>
But the leader didn’t step back.</p><p>Mike moved in closer and then boldly dipped his head into the hollow between Leo’s neck and shoulder, nuzzling just lightly.<br/>
<br/>
Leo’s body shuddered.  “Why?” he asked, but the timbre of his voice had changed.  No longer colored by frustration or anger, the quality was instead low and husky.</p><p>“Why what?” Mikey muttered, still nuzzling.<br/>
<br/>
“Why do you… you…”</p><p>Now Mike darted his tongue along the hot flesh, so close their plastrons bumped together, but he pulled back a little to say, “Why do I like to piss you off?  I thought that would be obvious. You’re <em> hot </em> when you’re angry,” he smirked.</p><p>That was definitely part of it.  Breaking through his brother’s legendary self-control wasn’t always easy, but luckily Mike had a knack for annoyance, and this new aspect to their relationship made it more than just entertaining—he found it sexy as hell to see his brother come unraveled.  The muscle tension, the quickened breathing, and oh god the <em> yelling </em>…  It was all so delicious.   Besides, for all of his cockiness about his own looks, Mike had always secretly thought that Leo was the good-looking one.  Not that he’d ever admit it…</p><p>Those weren’t the only reasons, though.  Mike didn’t mind initiating—in fact, he <em> had </em> to initiate to get anywhere with Mr. This-Isn’t-Proper.  But that didn’t mean he wanted to be dominant the entire time.  Getting Leo mad, knocking down that wall of reserve, was the first step towards what <em> he </em> most enjoyed—nothing, not even yelling, was hotter than Leo taking control.</p><p>Mike had tried reasoning with him (well, he was desperate!), and then coaxing, but all that did was give Leo ground to think about all the reasons they <em> shouldn’t </em> be doing this.  Anger, though, activitated what Don called his “lizard brain”—which Mike thought was dumb, because weren’t they turtles?  But he understood what it meant. It bypassed logic and reason, instead triggering the most base impulses of any animal.</p><p>It was not surprising that Leo would find the very idea of it, of losing control, repulsive, but the ol’ lizard brain didn’t care.</p><p>Leonardo held completely still while Mike ran his hands up his chiseled shoulder muscles, and then down the plastron, finally reaching lower with his left hand into the space between those heavily muscled thighs—</p><p>Abruptly Leonardo seized his wrist in an iron grip, and Mike’s eyes came up to meet his brother’s.  He honestly didn’t know what was going to happen—whether Leo was going to stop him, kick him out of his room, or what—but when he looked in his dark eyes, he could clearly see the inner battle being waged there.  Leo remained motionless, his hand fixed over Mikey’s wrist like a manacle, his other arm rigid but held down at his side.  Mike could feel the heat pouring off of him; he could practically <em> taste </em> it, but all he did was swallow hard and stand there, weak-kneed and waiting.</p><p>It wasn’t that long, really—probably only a few seconds, but the tension, the suspense was nearly unbearable, especially watching Leo’s chest rise and fall with his quickened breathing.  Oh god, the exquisite torture…</p><p>At long last, Leonardo drew Mikey’s wrist upward, his gaze steady, and the younger turtle’s breath caught.  Would it be the Leader Brain, or the Lizard Brain? Then the older turtle deliberately changed his hold in Mike’s wrist, his fingers underneath the palm, and his thumb at the back of the hand.  Then he pressed with the thumb, exerting pressure that bent Michelangelo’s hand up from the wrist until it was nearly perpendicular. Thus held, with the joint rotation already maxed out, all it took was a <em> bit </em> more pressure applied in just the right way, to cause Mike to suck in a breath with the sudden pain.  At that Leo didn’t bat an eye. He merely angled the wrist, applying force with perfect precision until Mike was compelled to take a step backward, and then another, his eyes watering involuntarily, with Leo following until he was backed up to the bed.  Then the angle of the grip changed again, this time firmly urging him <em> down </em>, onto his knees.</p><p>Leonardo at once stopped the pressure and looked down at Mikey, those eyes lit with lust and expectation, and Mike shivered, his breath coming quick and shallow.  The leader let go of Mike’s hand, and pointedly widened his stance. </p><p>Michelangelo swallowed again, and after shaking out his left wrist, planted both large hands on Leo’s upper thighs.  Kneeling, he was at the ideal height, and this time when his hand reached, Leo didn’t stop him. He found the tail, already thickened and hot, and held it gently, rubbing his thumb alongside the enticing slit.  He felt Leo tremble, but there was no sound. Mike stroked downward, never directly touching the sensitive opening, but getting closer every time his hand reached the end of the tail and then re-gripped higher up.  He knew without having to see that the tip of Leo’s cock was beginning to emerge, but he didn’t let it down yet, and Mike knew what to do. Pulling the tail towards him, he leaned in until his head was deep in the crevice of the other turtle’s thighs, and licked, slowly, teasingly, over the slit.</p><p>God he loved this part.  It was such a turn-on to submit to Leo’s wishes, but this, coaxing that long, slick organ out of its protective housing, made his own tail swell almost painfully.  Now he took hold of the tail more firmly, and eased his tongue around the bottom of the slit, hoping to get just underneath the partially emerged head of the cock. He managed it, licking firmly, and he heard an exhale from Leo.  No groan yet, but Mike was just getting started. He used his mouth next, not making a seal with his lips, but just loosely covering the exposed tip, teasing, and licking coaxingly at the same time. <em> Come on, Leo… let it go… you know you want this, you know how good it’ll feel… </em>  But of course all of this played out in absolute silence.</p><p>Now Mike seized the tail just a bit higher up, exerting firm pressure around the thickened base, and above him Leo’s breath hitched.  Mike formed his tongue into something like a tube, cupping the lower part of the small length of exposed dick, and this time gently closed his mouth around the top, sucking slightly.  There was a tremble of the thighs, and then at last an audible exhale as Leonardo let himself down into the moist warmth of Mike’s waiting mouth. Of course Mike couldn’t take all of him—but he rewarded Leo by taking him as deeply as he could, sucking gently.  Meanwhile he took hold of what he couldn’t get in his mouth with both hands, stroking very, very slowly.</p><p>Leo’s breathing changed, hitching every so often in response to Mike’s ministrations, but still there was no sound.  One day Mike would get it out of him, though. He swore he would, and relished the challenge. He was really getting into it now, firm strokes of his hand over the slick organ higher up the shaft synchronized with the action of his tongue and mouth on the head, and he knew Leo couldn’t last much longer.  He was already beginning to feel the tremors.</p><p>Mike let his own member down, preparing to stroke himself with his right hand while he finished Leo off.  It was always better, more intense, if they came together, even if it could be tricky to attend to himself with Leo trying to thrust vigorously into his mouth.  Oh god, when he brought Leonardo to the brink, felt that frantic energy that came right before the eruption… hell, he hardly needed to touch himself at all, it was so hot.  And if he used his left hand, already grasping the other turtle’s cock near the base, he was in a good position to curb the movement of his tail and control the depth of the thrusting in his mouth.</p><p>This time, though, as Mike reached down to take hold of himself, Leo stepped back.  It surprised him so much, Mike didn’t even have a chance to try and prevent him. His eyes rose to meet Leo’s.  The older turtle’s expression was still inscrutable, but his accelerated breaths and the color on his cheeks, not to mention the fully erect, darkly glistening cock jutting out before him, left no doubt of his enjoyment.</p><p>“Turn around,” Leo said.</p><p>Well, this was new.  </p><p>“Turn around,” he repeated when Mike didn’t obey instantly, and though his voice was calm, low, Mike could read the underlying urgency in the command.</p><p>No lie, he was a bit apprehensive… Leo was going off script, and Mike didn’t know what to expect.  Dry-mouthed with anticipation, he turned so he was facing the bed, still on his knees, and watched over his shoulder as the blue-masked turtle quickly grabbed the small garbage can next to his desk, and put it on the rug beside Mike.  Then Leo went to his knees behind him. <em> Oh god… </em> </p><p>As Leo crowded close, his plastron bumping against Mike’s carapace, his hot breath at his neck, the orange-masked turtle felt a drawing in his loins that made him almost light-headed.  <em> Breathe, Mikey, breathe, </em> he reminded himself, and that helped the lightheadedness.  But then Leo’s arm went around him, in front of him, and took hold between his legs.  Mike jumped at the touch, but the surprise was instantly smothered by the indescribable sensation of Leo’s hand on his shaft, gliding down and then up again.</p><p>Mike groaned softly, completely forgetful of where he was, already lost in the moment.</p><p>“Ssssshhhhhhhhh,” Leo breathed against his ear, and the hand on Mike’s cock went still, though he was still gripping him firmly.</p><p>“L-leo, don’t stop,” Mike begged hoarsely.</p><p>“No sound,” Leo said just under his breath.  “Understand?” He emphasized his order with a tightening of his grip.</p><p>Mike sucked in his breath to stop himself from groaning again, and nodded his head vigorously, afraid to even speak his answer.</p><p>Leonardo resumed his stroking, and at some point, through a growing haze of lust, Mike realized could feel his brother’s slick organ sliding along his own.  The mental image, and Leo pressed against him from behind, and that grip on his cock, rubbing and stroking… it was beyond anything he’d ever experienced, and he felt the warmth building, ready to release in that rapturous explosion.</p><p>Leo must have felt it, recognized how close he was, because he whispered urgently, “The garbage can—use it!”</p><p>WHO COULD CARE ABOUT MESSES AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!  But of course, the answer was Leo. Mike didn’t argue—he just wanted Leo to keep going, and he knew he wouldn’t until the garbage can was in position.  As soon as it was, he felt his brother’s teeth on his neck, gripping firmly, and Leo rose up behind him a bit higher, holding him against him tightly with his left arm while right hand gripped his dick, sliding faster and faster… and then the wave was upon him, bursting forth and inundating him as he held the edge of the mattress for support.  It took everything in him to keep quiet, and even with his best effort he couldn’t suppress a small sound, almost a squeak, which caused Leo to bite down harder in warning.</p><p>Mike trembled as the delicious aftershocks pulsed through him, and Leo’s grip on him loosened and fell away.  Michelangelo was still on his knees but more or less slumped forward, resting against the side of the mattress while he caught his breath.  Letting go of his neck, Leo instead licked it, almost tenderly.</p><p>Mike felt so weak, he was ready to slip to the floor, just a boneless pile of goo… he was pretty sure he could lie there and sleep for for at least a YEAR after that.</p><p>The thing was… Leo was behind him still sort of holding him, preventing him from slumping to the floor.  Mike’s brain was processing things rather slowly at the moment, but he began to realize that something didn’t add up.  Leo still felt so tense, so rigid, almost… expectant? And then he felt it, distinctly and positively, against his inner thigh.  </p><p>That kicked his dull wits into faster motion, and when Leo nipped his neck lightly, he knew.  He didn’t know HOW his brother had held out through that, but he had, he wasn’t done. But why??  </p><p>There was another lick at his neck, and then a soft growl and a nuzzle as the other turtle adjusted his position a little.  Mike’s heart began to beat harder. Too hard.</p><p>But… Leo didn’t want <em> that </em>, did he?  Hands, mouths, that stuff they’d done before, plenty of times.  But never anything else. Mike didn’t even know if it was possible.  What if his cloaca wasn’t, like, meant for that? What if it hurt too bad?  Could Leo, like, damage him? Inside?   </p><p>He wasn’t ready to contemplate it too much, and in a bit of a panic, he reached down in front of himself, between his thighs, to find Leo’s seeking member.  Mike’s own erection had already retracted, and he held his tail out of the way and closed his thighs to trap his brother intimately between them.  </p><p>Then Mike began to stroke, cupping both hands for Leo to work against as he began thrusting faster, his breathing ragged in Mike’s ear as he worked himself into a frenzy.</p><p>Leo didn’t make a sound, save one—just before he reached his orgasm he gasped out “Garbage!”, and Mike got it in position in the nick of time.  Although he was silent, Mike had some idea of the strength of his orgasm from how tight his hold was around his body. For a few seconds, he could hardly <em> breathe </em> his brother was squeezing so hard.  Spasm after spasm went through him as he emptied himself, and then he slumped against Mike’s shell, breathing heavily.</p><p>With Leo’s weight on him, Mike had to brace himself against the bed, but oddly, he didn’t mind.  His thoughts were spinning, though, and although he knew that later he’d have lots of questions, right now it was just… too much.  Too much to process.</p><p>After a very brief rest, Leo began to weakly peel himself off of Mike, and he turned around and sat back with his carapace against the bed frame.  Free of his brother’s weight, Mike moved the garbage can aside, which was tooooootally gonna to have to go out after this, and turned himself so he was sitting beside Leo.</p><p>Neither spoke.</p><p>Neither looked at the other.</p><p>Mike didn’t think he was alone in thinking that what had just happened had blown any other sexual experience of his life straight out of the water—including that time he’d dreamed Megan Fox was totally into turtles.  But this was <em> real </em> .  This had actually happened.  Leo had mounted him… sort of.  <em> That </em> had never happened before.  Was that why it had been so intense?  God, when he bit his neck from behind… Mike shuddered just remembering.  Was it the position itself, or just the fact that it was something new and surprising?  He felt wrung out, but in a good way. Deliciously weak, like if he tried to stand, his legs just wouldn’t support him.  So yeah, that part was great. Really great. Yup. Everything was really really great…</p><p>Yeah.  Except for the fact that he was so fucking <em> confused </em> and also maybe just a <em> teensy </em> bit COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT!</p><p>But he couldn’t let Leo know that.  Here Mike had been the one pressing for this to continue, and what they had just done had been incredible, like mind-blowingly good, except for the bit where Leo had maybe wanted to penetrate him…</p><p>Or had he?  That was part of the confusion, for sure.  Mike didn’t really <em> know </em> if that’s what Leo had had in mind.  Maybe he had only wanted Mike to finish him off with his hands from that position.</p><p>The other part of the confusion was tougher.  Because Leo may or may not have wanted to actually fuck him… but if he did, Mike didn’t even know how he himself felt about it.  Honestly, he had never even thought about it, until it seemed maybe Leo was thinking it. His in-the-moment response was an answer in itself, wasn’t it?  As in, big fat NO, no way in hell, so totally Off Limits it doesn’t even fall in the <em> realm </em> of limits…  He had been happy the way things were going, sneaking around, goading Leo until he gave in and took charge the way Mike liked it, both of them getting off—and absolutely nothing whatsoever being inserted into his cloaca.</p><p>But… what if that wasn’t the case with Leo?  What if he was just settling for that stuff, waiting for things to progress to the next level?</p><p>Just the thought made Mike’s heart beat a little harder again.  Because he was totally into it when Leo took control. Like, here he had just finished up, right?  And yet just thinking about it made him sorta squirm, made him tingle. But then he had assumed that <em> his </em> unspoken comfort zone was the same as Leo’s.  If that wasn’t true, he needed to let Leo know what his boundaries were.  </p><p>You know.  Just as soon as he figured that out himself.</p><p>On the other hand… what if setting rules like that ruined everything?  What if Leo thought it meant he didn’t want to anymore, or what if it made him feel like he had to be careful all the time?  Part of what made it so hot was the lack of that careful self-restraint that was such a trademark of Leonardo’s usual character.  Mike liked it when he let go, cut loose, and he liked that he was the one who could get him to do that. In fact, he was convinced Leo actually <em> needed </em> that sometimes.  That’s why it kept happening, in spite of his brother’s insistence that he was done.</p><p>If it was between going outside his comfort zone, or ruining what they had… was it worth the risk?  Did it change how far Mike was willing to go?</p><p>He didn’t know right now.  He just didn’t know.</p><p>The only thing he did know was that he shouldn’t be alone with Leo again until he figured it out.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Mike was being quiet.  Very quiet. Which made Leo nervous.</p><p>He resisted the urge to turn his head and look at him, and was able to admit to himself that that was because he was afraid what he might see.  Because god, what had just happened was… beyond words. If it was always like that, Leo might have to consider his brother’s suggestion that they “tweak the interval.”</p><p>But Michelangelo was so quiet right now… and Leo wondered anxiously if he had crossed a line.  It wasn’t like he had really thought about it in the moment—there had been very little actual thought process behind any of it.  It was all impulse, all… instinct? The mounting, the biting… it was exciting, to put it mildly, and it seemed Mike had been enjoying it too.  It was the part at the end there, after Mike was through, that he worried about. Leo hadn’t even been aware of what he was doing, it was like he’d lost himself.  All he knew or cared about was that he needed… something. Did he… had he been trying to… but no. He never wouldn’t just gone for it without making sure Mike was okay with it.  He knew he could get a little… dominant, but he wouldn’t go that far… would he?</p><p>
  <em> But what if I couldn’t stop myself? </em>
</p><p>His stomach slithered at the thought.  It was bad enough to think that maybe he’d made Mikey uncomfortable, pushed him too far.  What if next time he really<em> did </em> go too far?</p><p>Maybe he should just bring it up, apologize, and see how his brother felt.  Normally by now the turtle in orange would be congratulating himself on a job well done, and already hinting about their next hookup.  So this was definitely out of character.</p><p>He turned his head to look at Mike, who was facing forward with an uncharacteristically serious expression.  </p><p>Leo was still trying to formulate the words, trying to figure out the best way to bring it up, when his brother said,  “Well, I guess I should get going.”</p><p>Leonardo only barely stopped his jaw from dropping open.  Usually it was all he could do to get Mikey to <em> move </em> afterward, even if they were sprawled on the floor because the bed was off limits (Leo didn’t need any odor clinging to his bedding…)</p><p>Shit.  Something was definitely wrong…  He felt sick inside. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.  “Okay, sure. Is, um… are you okay?”</p><p>Mike was already getting to his feet, and he hardly looked at Leo as he answered, “Yeah, yeah, of course!  I just… yannow, probably better if I just, um, go. Kay, see ya round!”</p><p>Then he was gone, closing the door behind him.</p><p>Leo’s head fell back to rest on the mattress behind him.</p><p>
  <em> What have I done?? </em>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Decomposition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re quiet today,” Donatello commented, his breath coming in rhythmic huffs as they jogged side by side through the tunnel.</p><p>Mike glanced over at his brother.  He could tell by Don’s expression that this was merely an observation, nothing that necessarily required an explanation. “Yeah,” he answered, his feet squelching a little in the muck with each step.  “Just… thinking, I guess.”  The pace they were moving was easy enough that both of them were still able to talk without difficulty, and usually Michelangelo <em> did </em> talk during conditioning because it was so insanely boring.  But today, his thoughts were too muddled for his usual prattle.</p><p>Donny “hmm’d” in response, which made Mike glance over again.  “What?”</p><p>Don shook his head, and this time Mikey could see a hint of a lopsided smile.</p><p>Mike’s eyes narrowed.  “What’s so funny?”</p><p>“Just… you.  Thinking,” Don explained simply.  And when he looked at Mike there was a sparkle of humor in his eyes.</p><p>“What, I think sometimes!” Mike defended.</p><p>Still smiling, Don merely snorted and shook his head.<br/><br/>“I do!  I think all the time!  About really deep, important things. Things that a simpleton like you could never understand.”</p><p>His brother nodded, his eyes slipping over to Mike again.  “Yeah, okay. Well that’s fine.  You just go ahead and solve the world’s problems right there in your head while we’re out here conditioning.  I won’t distract you.  Me?  I just space out.  Like usual.  Nothing in the old noggin at the moment.  Totally hollow, see?”  And he rapped the top of his domed head with his knuckles.</p><p>Mike grinned when Don went along with his little joke, but then lapsed back into silence.  Within a couple of minutes they reached the pull-up station, a pair of old pipes above them that had been wrapped to protect their hands and give a better grip.  Without pause, both hopped up to grab hold and started counting off pull-ups.  Sometimes, especially if Mike was with Raph or Leo, he would try and make a race out of it and see who could get to fifty the fastest.  Or he might count out of order to try and get his partner to lose count... or in Leo’s case, just to try and piss him off.</p><p>His stomach lurched unexpectedly at that thought, because although none of his brothers were spared from his persecution, it had taken on a different meaning with Leo.   Ever since last spring, to be precise, when their <em> other </em> extracurriculars had begun.  It was more like flirting now, or… foreplay?  To him, anyway.  Maybe to Leo it was still just annoying.</p><p>Only now, instead of trying to think of new ways to get under Leo’s skin, he was going on day three of completely avoiding his oldest brother.  Which was really shitty.  And also the reason he was so quiet this afternoon.  Leo had hinted more than once since The Incident that he wanted to talk, but Mike still didn’t know how he felt and what he was going to say.  Luckily it wasn’t difficult to not be found alone with two other brothers and a father living with them, and Mike had been careful to give Leonardo no excuse to single him out for his behavior.  Still, he couldn’t avoid Leo forever.  He didn’t <em> want </em> to.  He already worried about what reasons his older brother might be coming up with to explain his reluctance to talk…</p><p>“Mikey?  Hey!  Earth to Michelangelo!”</p><p>“What?” Mike blinked, looking over at Don.</p><p>In answer, Donatello waved at him with his left arm, but pointedly continued doing pull ups with his right.</p><p>“Oh!  Right!”  Mike let go with his left arm as well—he had obviously forgotten to count altogether.   He kept an eye on Don after that, and switched to his left arm when his brother did.  Then they both dropped back down to the ground and jogged on, shaking out their arms.</p><p>“We usually pick up the pace here,” Don said, and wordlessly Mike increased his pace to match his brother’s.</p><p>It was still slower than the pace either Raph or Leo would have chosen, but Mike had no objection.</p><p>After another quarter of a mile or so, Donatello said, “If you just need to think, it’s fine, but if you need a sounding board… you know I don’t mind.”</p><p>Mike jogged on without answer for a few beats, considering.  Of course he couldn’t tell Don his real dilemma…  <em> Yeah, bro, I just can’t decide if I should let Leo plow me in the tailpipe, or just stick with oral pleasure, whaddya think? </em> Nope.  Not a chance—not even to see his brother’s expression, which would no doubt be hilarious.  But Donny was a good listener.  Mike had gone to him with problems before, and even if he didn’t share Mike’s feelings with regard to the urgency or importance of said problems, he often had good insight.   Maybe if he kept his problem vague, it might actually help to talk about it.  Certainly couldn’t make it any worse.</p><p>“Okay,” he said finally.  “I mean, it’s no big deal, but there’s this…” At that moment, while Mike was searching for a made-up but plausible “problem”, they passed by a branch-off where he often went when he wanted to do some skating.  It lead to a larger, drier area that was a junction for several other tunnels.  Plenty of slopes and angles and space for practicing tricks.  “There’s this… skateboard trick that’s, like, totally popular right now.  And I’m sorta thinking about maybe trying it?  But like…  it’s also kinda risky.  I’m afraid I could… get hurt.  And um. I also like skating even without this trick, so…  then I think maybe I shouldn’t bother.”</p><p>Donatello jogged silently beside him as he took this in.  “Your big dilemma is whether or not to try a new skateboard trick?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Mike answered, glancing to the side at his brother.  Honestly, it was probably on level with some of his other “big problems” he’d consulted his brother on, so he wasn’t worried Don would see right through it.  And even if he did, there’s no <em> way </em> he could suspect the real problem.<br/><br/>Don looked briefly over at him, and his glance told Mikey he actually <em> was </em> suspicious, but all he said was, “Aren’t all skate tricks potentially dangerous?  I just assumed that was the reason for the knee and elbow pads.”</p><p>Mike nodded.  “Yeah, I mean, I guess.   But this one has some, uh, like, vertical rotation to it, so knee pads might not do a whole lot.  You know?”</p><p>“Fair enough,” Don answered.</p><p>“Yeah.  So if I did it, and it worked, that would be pretty awesome.  Or I could totally faceplant on the pavement, and that would suck.”  Well it wasn’t a perfect analogy, but the level of suckage was pretty close.</p><p>“Got it,” said Donatello. “Well then, if it were me, I’d be looking at a way to decompose it into smaller moves, or separate it into core elements, and see if I could work up to it gradually.  You know.  Like we’ve done in training for the last, say, fifteen years?”</p><p>Don’s eyes ticked over to him then, and Mike realized he was not for one second fooled by his skateboard analogy.  Mikey looked away quickly, and if his heart hadn’t already been working hard from the exercise, it would have been pounding then for sure.</p><p><em> Taaaake it easy, </em> he reminded himself, <em> Don’s a genius, not a mindreader.  </em> The only turtle he actually <em> might </em> have to worry about having some weird mystic mind-reading powers was Leo, which was thankfully not a threat to him in this particular scenario.  And even if Don wasn’t fooled, that didn’t mean he would press to learn the real situation.  Donny was turtle who valued privacy, so probably he was fine with not knowing.</p><p>And as for what he had said, Don had a point.  Why had he assumed it had to be all or nothing?  Because he was afraid, that was why—he was afraid of the “all” part, what it entailed and even what it would <em> mean </em>, because even though they had been fooling around, this just seemed different, somehow.  Like another level, or something.</p><p>Don glanced at him again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a jerk.  I was just giving you shit.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I can take it,” Mike grinned at him.  “Point taken, though.  I guess I wasn’t thinking about it that way.  But thanks.  It’s not a bad idea.”</p><p>“Good,” Don nodded.</p><p>Michelangelo ran silently, turning over this new approach in his mind, and Don let him be.</p><p>Another quarter mile on they took a left down a side tunnel, and when the turtle in purple met his eyes and nodded again, Mike nodded back and they both went into an all-out sprint.  Mike’s lungs were protesting by the end, but he had outstripped Donatello by a significant distance.  Ha!  Still got it!   Their little race ended when the tunnel met up with a channel that shunted off excess rainwater from the city above and formed what amounted to an underground river.</p><p>Mike reached the water first, but he took the opportunity to catch his breath a little and waited for his brother, and then waited a little longer so Don could catch his breath too.  A minute later, by mutual agreement, they dove in, both turning to swim against the current.  The water was shockingly cold, especially this time of year, but even so this was Mike’s favorite part of the conditioning run.  Turtle thing, he supposed.  He pushed hard through the water, the protective membranes covering his eyes to protect them, and freestyled like a boss.  This was Donny’s best “event," and he beat Mike by a head when they reached the juncture where they usually quit.  Then they relaxed, letting the swift current carry them back to where they’d started and then beyond to bring them closer to their original starting point.  Mike flipped to his back while he caught his breath, still thinking things over.</p><p>By the time they climbed out of the water and walked back to the Lair, he didn’t have any idea how all of this was going to end up… but at least he had a place to start.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Leonardo had been lying in bed for almost an hour, and in spite of his best effort to tire himself out physically during the course of the day, sleep wasn’t coming easily.  It had been the same the last couple of nights… only this night, he was trying to resist the temptation to “take the matter into his own hands.”  Literally.</p><p>It wasn’t like he was <em> ashamed </em> of doing it, in a general sense… he was a healthy male, and a teenaged one at that.  All of his brothers did it, Leo was just… more private about it than they were.  He never spoke of it, even in the joking, self-deprecating way they did.  He was aware that that made them think he was disapproving, but in reality, he just thought there were some things better left unmentioned.</p><p>But the last couple of times, specifically, he actually <em> had </em> felt guilty—mostly because of what he had been thinking about.  Even now, as he tried so hard to think of something, <em> anything </em> else, his mind kept slipping back to the most recent encounter with Michelangelo.  The unyielding hardness of his brother’s carapace against his plastron as he held him close and pumped with his tail, faster and harder…  But it was his <em> brother. </em>  He wasn’t supposed to be thinking of him this way, much less acting on it!</p><p>Leo gave a huff of frustration and turned yet again, flopping to his back to stare up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the growing pressure within his tail.  For a couple of days after their last encounter, he had hinted as strongly as he dared to Mike that he wanted to talk privately… and as it became clear his brother was avoiding him, he knew that at the very least he owed him an apology.  But now he thought Mike probably had the right idea.  Better to go cold turkey.  Safer.  Smarter.  At least now Michelangelo couldn’t deny that their… meetings... had to stop.</p><p>It was better this way.</p><p>Better in the long run, anyway… not better in the moment.  In the moment it was almost torture.</p><p>But then, if it wasn’t ever going to happen again, what did it matter what he jerked off to?  It was all he had left, now.</p><p>Leo turned to his left side, away from the door, his resolve wavering… and then dug under the mattress by the wall and pulled out a plain white towel, the same as the ones they used in the dojo to mop up sweat or wipe down the equipment.  This one was clean—Leo fastidiously washed and replaced them as needed, a habit he doubted his brothers were so meticulous about.  According to the movies, human teens used socks, which seemed a much tidier solution to Leo.  But given that none of them <em> wore </em> socks, it would be a lot tougher to explain having them around.</p><p>With the towel close at hand, he reached down and gently stroked the underside of his already thickened tail, shuddering at how sensitive it was and remembering the feeling of Mike down there, trying to tease his cock out.  <em> Oh god…  </em>He let himself down and glided his hand slowly down the length, his cock naturally slick and growing harder by the moment.</p><p>Leo closed his eyes as he stroked himself, imagining how he’d positioned himself behind and over Mike’s shell, impulsively biting his neck.  God, he was so hard already, practically panting with need, and he’d only just started!  His own ministrations were but a pale shadow of the real deal, though… and in an effort to make it match more closely with his memory, he pulled his pillow down and flipped so he was sort of on top of it, reaching down slide his hand along his slick organ as he thrust it underneath the pillow and into the towel he’d strategically placed there.</p><p>It was feeling good, really good… when a there came a soft but unmistakable knock at his door.</p><p><em> Shit! </em> “Just a minute!” Leo called sharply, immediately regretting the urgency in his voice.</p><p>Then, without warning, his door <em> opened</em>, and Leo hastily tried to put his pillow back where it belonged while at the same time rolling to his side. The sheet he had over him hid anything obvious, but it was still a compromising position to be caught in.</p><p>“I said just a minute!” he snapped as Michelangelo appeared in the doorway.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Mike had waited until he was sure everyone else had gone off to bed before leaving his room.  He walked down the dimly lit hall, peering cautiously around him but trying not to act like he was being sneaky.  Because he was just going to Leo’s room… nothing odd about that, right?  He could go bug his brothers any time he wanted, and if they were asleep, well… when had that ever stopped him before?</p><p>But he was nervous.  Not about possibly waking Leonardo, but about the conversation he was about to have.  Could he actually do this?  In spite of having made a decision, he still was not 100% sure he could—but there was the old saying “don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it”, and well, obviously that made sense to a lot of people.  It had to, to become an old saying, right?  So probably he <em> wouldn’t </em> know for certain unless he just… took the plunge.  Ha.  No pun intended.</p><p>He paused outside Leo’s door and took a deep breath.  <em> Here goes nothing…  </em>Then he knocked softly.   His brother’s answering voice came so quickly, he knew he couldn’t have been asleep.  Mike opened the door.</p><p>“I said just a minute!” Leo snapped from his bed, and there was no mistaking the note of panic in his voice, which was very unlike his older brother.  There was also the hurried rustling of sheets, though Mike couldn’t see any details in the dark.</p><p>“Sorry, I thought you said come in!” Mike countered in a quiet voice.  “Really!”  He realized now that he hadn’t paid attention to the actual words, he’d just assumed he was being invited in.  Whoops.  He hesitated, and then said, “I just wanted to talk, but I can just let you… finish up in here…”</p><p>“What!?” Leonardo said in a forceful whisper.  “I wasn’t—I don’t—I was just trying to <em> sleep! </em>”</p><p>“Dude, it’s fiiiiine.  I’ve totally been there.  I’ll just come back in, what, fifteen?”  </p><p>“No!”</p><p>“Twenty?”</p><p>“NO, Mikey, that’s—”</p><p>“More than twenty?!  Jeeze Leo.  I mean it’s great to draw it out sometimes, really savor it, but I really don’t want to fall asleep waiting for you…”  Oh man, this was fun.  Mike had been told he was shameless about this stuff, many times.  But he just didn’t see the point of getting all embarrassed about natural bodily functions.  Everyone had them, so what was the big deal?  But his big brother <em> hated </em> when they talked about it, a fact which Mike exploited at every possible opportunity.</p><p>“I don’t want you to come back at all!” Leo said.  He had propped himself up one arm, Mike could see, but he wasn’t sitting up all the way.</p><p>“Aw shit.  You lost it, huh?  That’s a bummer.”  He stepped in all the way and closed the door behind him.  “But hey, at least I don’t have to come back.”</p><p>“Michelangelo,” Leo said in a dangerous tone,  “I’m going to say it one.  More. Time.  <em> Get.  Out! </em>”</p><p>Mike ignored that and went over to Leo’s desk, where he clicked on the small table lamp and pulled out the chair.  He dragged it closer to Leo’s bed before sitting down, and now he could actually see Leo’s face.  Yeah… maybe not the best mood for what he had in mind… </p><p>“Unbelievable,” Leo seethed, shaking his head angrily as he sat all the way up.  “You are unbelievable!”</p><p>“Thanks!” he smirked.  “I thought I was good, but it never hurts to hear it verified.”</p><p>At that Leo’s face darkened still more, and Mike’s tail gave an involuntary twitch in response.  God… Leo looked so good right now, with no mask on and the sheets all twisted around him, ready to Lay Down the Law…  <em> Not now, though, </em> he reminded himself. <em> Gotta get some things straight first. </em></p><p>“That wasn’t a compliment,” Leo grumbled, but he seemed resigned to the intrusion.  He sat back a little, anyway, and took a deep breath, though his expression remained stony.  “And anyway, you’re wasting your breath.  We don’t have anything to talk about.”</p><p>Mike’s brow ridges went up at this.  “But you’ve been hinting that you wanted to see me.”</p><p>“I was, but then I realized there’s no point.”</p><p>Tilting his head slightly, Mike asked slowly, “And why is there no point?”</p><p>“Because it’s over, that’s why.”</p><p>Ah.  So they were back to that now, were they?  Mikey shook his head.  “Look, I’m sorry I was dodging you.  I just, you know, I had to… sort some stuff out.”</p><p>“There’s nothing to sort out.  We shouldn’t be doing this.  We never should’ve started in the first place.  And now it’s done.  End of story.”</p><p>“I disagree,” was Mike’s brilliant rebuttal.  They had been down this path before—or rather, this dizzying spiral—and he already knew that all the arguing in the world wouldn’t get Leo to change his mind, so he wasn’t going to waste his breath.</p><p>Leo leaned forward a little in his bed.  “Come on, Michelangelo—don’t you feel how wrong this is?  <em> Was </em>?” he corrected himself.  “The other night just proves it.”</p><p>Mike considered this for a moment, and decided it was time to switch tactics.  <em> Commence redirection… now </em>.  So he said, “Was it me you were thinking of?”</p><p>Leo’s brow furrowed.  “What?”</p><p>“When I walked in here a few minutes ago.  It was me you were thinking of, wasn’t it.”  He watched Leo’s face for a second, saw the telltale twitch that meant he wanted to deny it but also didn’t want to lie.  Mike’s mouth curled in a knowing half-smile, and he bobbed his head a little.  “Yeah, it was, it totally was.  I knew it!  Not that I blame you.  That last time went straight to the top of my favorites list, if you know what I mean.”  His half-smile widened into a full-on grin.</p><p>Then he sat back and prepared to enjoy watching Leo get all flustered, and though he did <em> look </em> a little flustered, he didn’t begin stammering half-formed objections as Mike would have predicted.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Leo said rather hoarsely.</p><p>“You know… the spank bank.  The highlights reel?” he added when Leo still looked blank.  “The, the stuff you think about when you—”</p><p>“I know what it is!” Leo snapped.</p><p>“Ok, then what <em> are </em>you confused on?”</p><p>“You, you… that you…” he looked down at his lap and cleared his throat, shifting a little. “...Enjoyed it.”  Then he looked up almost bashfully to meet Mike’s eyes.</p><p>“You weren’t sure I enjoyed it?” Mike repeated.  His eyes widened.  “Dude.  I more than enjoyed it.  Like, I don’t think I can even express in words how much I liked it!”</p><p>“Then why did you just… take off?”</p><p>Watching Leonardo, Mikey was pretty sure his brother already suspected why he had taken off, and would use it as a reason to beat himself up and circle back to the whole ‘we can’t do this anymore’ number.  Nope, not gonna fall into that trap.  Keeping his brother off-balance seemed to be the best course of action, so once again he veered sharply off topic.</p><p>“Decomposition!” he blurted out.</p><p>Leo’s brow drew down again.   He looked utterly confused, and Mike didn’t blame him, but he forged ahead before the older turtle could ask any questions.</p><p>“You caught me off guard, see, but like, I think if we decompose it into, um, smaller… steps, then… yeah.  It’s something I could maybe be into…”</p><p>Leonardo still looked confused.  “Be into?”</p><p>“I’m not saying—I mean, if <em> you </em> want to, um, try something… more… as long as we take it slow and not just, you know, ‘ram it home’, so to speak, then yeah.  I’m saying okay.”  He was watching Leo for any sign of understanding, but so far nothing.  He took a breath.  “We just need a, a plan, you know?  And maybe a safe word!  Like, something neither one of us would ever say ‘in the moment’, right?  Like, like bowling ball!”  He put a finger to his chin, thinking.  “No, maybe… maybe we should leave balls out of it.  But like… lampshade!  Oh.  Except… probably not something that’s actually <em> in </em> the room, in case we need to talk about that.  Okay.  So this might take some more thought.  But my point is, with a plan, and a safe word, and like… okay. So I’d also reserve the right to pull the plug on the whole idea at any time if it’s not my thing—”</p><p>“Mikey—”</p><p>“—Because I think, yannow, trying new things is good!  It’s great!  But—”</p><p>“Michelangelo—”</p><p>“—But that doesn’t mean everyone is gonna LIKE everything they try!  I mean, I thought I’d like olives when I first saw them because they looked like grapes, but they’re not sweet at <em> all </em> , they’re salty, and it’s, yannow, some people <em> love </em> olives, but I can’t get the shock of that first taste outta my head!”</p><p>“Mikey, STOP!” Leo said.</p><p>And he did.  He stopped, and waited with a dry mouth to hear how Leo would respond, half hoping he would flat-out reject the idea.</p><p>“So,” Leo began, his eyes flicking back and forth to study Mike’s face as he tried to piece this together, “you’re saying you want to… take things further?”</p><p>Mike looked back at his brother just as intently, his heart beating too hard under his plastron.  “Yeah,” he said softly.  “I mean… if you want to… yeah.”</p><p>Leonardo’s usual composure had completely crumbled. He looked… stunned—eyes widened, mouth slightly parted, totally unguarded.  </p><p>And completely appealing.</p><p>The leader clearly hadn’t expected or even considered this; he was completely taken by surprise, and his reaction was endearing, somehow.</p><p>“B-but, that’s… I mean, we can’t!  We’re brothers!  That’s wrong, it’s, it’s…”</p><p>Mike had expected some protest along these lines—the same things had even gone through <em> his </em> head, when he had first panicked about the idea that it might be something Leo desired.  “<em>I </em>don’t think it’s wrong… if it’s something we both wanna do.”</p><p>That effectively halted Leo’s protests, and he studied Mike with brown eyes that could be either mirrors or windows, and just then were fathoms deep.</p><p><em> He does; he does want to do it.  He won’t admit it yet, but I see it. </em>   Suddenly, Mike realized that he actually <em> did </em> want this.  For Leo.</p><p>Leonardo’s eyes lowered, and he seemed to be in shock still.  “Just to be absolutely clear… you’re talking about… intercourse?”</p><p>Then his eyes came up, and caught and held on Mike’s.  Michelangelo felt it for what it was—the moment of truth. If he wanted to back down, now was the chance.  No harm, no foul.  But instead, he met his brother’s gaze, and nodded once, decisively.</p><p>The older turtle’s eyes were still wider than normal when he replied, “I, I can’t!  We don’t even know if, if it’ll work!  What if—I don’t want to <em> hurt </em> you, Mikey.”</p><p>He was ready for this one.  “You already hurt me!” he scoffed.</p><p>“What?!  When do I—”</p><p>“In training!  Every damn day!”</p><p>Leo’s mouth opened in protest, but no sound came out as the truth of that sank in.</p><p>“You threw me to the mat like ten times just this morning!  Really hard!  And remember that time you accidentally dislocated my shoulder?  Plus a ‘nick’ from your katana isn’t exactly a paper cut, and I can’t even count how many scars I have from that.”  He paused, and held his brother’s eyes.  “I’m not that delicate, Leo.  I can take it… as long as we go slow.”</p><p>His brother’s eyes were down again, shaking his head slowly as he looked at the blanket over his lap.</p><p>The fact that he hadn’t said “no” again, or ordered Mike out, was rather surprising.  He was really considering this.  Somehow, Mike had accomplished the unthinkable and convinced Leonardo to at least consider his offer.  But this, right now, was the tricky part.  Because he knew Leo needed some time to get comfortable with the idea, but he also knew that giving the guy too much time to think would result in him going back to the moral high ground and breaking things off with him yet again.</p><p>“We’ll make a game plan,” Mike said softly, “almost like a training schedule, so we know exactly what the ‘goal’ is for each… session.  We’ll come up with a safe word.  And if either one of us wants to call it off at any time, we can.”</p><p>Then he rose from the chair, and began walking slowly to the bed.  Leo’s eyes snapped up when Mike sat down on the edge of the mattress, but he didn’t object.</p><p>Then Leo answered, his voice soft and slightly husky.  “I can’t.”</p><p>In spite of the words themselves, Leonardo’s demeanor was not that of someone who was sure of their answer.  He still looked wide-eyed, and maybe even a little nervous.  Some part of him wanted to say yes—Mike was sure of it.</p><p>“Sure you can.  I’m offering.  I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to.”</p><p>“No, I mean… I, I’m not sure I can… hold back.”</p><p>Wow.  Mike knew that was a tough admission for Leo, and it meant something, that his brother would say it.</p><p>The turtle in blue swallowed visibly, looking at him with something like guilt in his eyes.  “The last time, I… I didn’t plan that, Mikey,” he said earnestly.  “I didn’t even realize... “ He looked down again and shook his head.  “I almost went too far—or I guess I <em> did </em> go too far, if you, you…”</p><p>“Leo,” Mike said carefully, “you didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do.  We’d never talked about that, so how would you even know how far was too far?  So moving forward, we just gotta… set some rules.  Okay?  Like, you don’t go past the limit we set each time regarding my, um, tailpipe… but everything else is on the table.  As long as you don’t hear the safe word,” he amended.</p><p>“But what if I can’t stop?” Leo said, meeting his eyes.</p><p>Mike laughed.  “You?  Mr. Self-discipline?  I’m not even worried about that!  No way!  And besides, like I said before, I’m pretty tough, you know?  It’s not like I can’t speak up, or even resist if I want to.  It’s just… yannow, um…”  Mike rubbed the back of his head underneath the knot of his mask and then peeked back up at Leo’s face.  “I don’t.  Want to.”</p><p>Leo stared back.  “Then you, you… you <em> want </em>me to be…”</p><p>Pulling a deep breath, Mike said, “Actually, I wouldn’t mind if you, um… pushed it a little more.”</p><p>“Oh,” Leo responded simply, seemingly at a loss for anything else to say.</p><p>“Yeah,” Mike answered.  Then <em> he </em> looked down at his lap.  “So.”</p><p>There was silence between them then, and somehow Mike managed to let it hang in spite of his natural dislike of prolonged periods of quiet.  </p><p>It was Leo who spoke first.  “You were right,” he said.</p><p>Mike glanced at him curiously.</p><p>“It was you I was thinking of.”</p><p>At first it didn’t click, but although Leonardo hadn’t changed position or even moved at all, Mike knew immediately that something had changed.  It was more like a shift in energy, and Mike’s breathing quickened.  Whatever the change, his body responded with an involuntary shiver of anticipation.</p><p>Leo said, “I was thinking of you… and being up close behind you…”  As he spoke he moved across the bed until he was right behind Mike.</p><p>Michelangelo’s heart rate picked up, but he didn’t do anything, just waited. </p><p>“I was thinking of pinning you against me…” he whispered close to Mike’s neck, and one arm curled around to hold him firmly by the midsection.  “...And then of course there was the biting…”</p><p>Mike’s tail pulsed, his stomach pooling with warmth that spread through his body as he waited anxiously for the feel of Leo’s teeth on his neck.  Leo teased him with a slight nip and first, and then a graze of teeth, until all of Mike’s senses were hyper-focused on waiting to feel the firm grip of his mouth…</p><p>When finally it came, and Leo took hold near the base of his neck, a low growl in his throat, Mike couldn’t suppress a slight groan.  He was still sitting with his legs over the edge of the bed, and he leaned back slightly so his tail had room between his thighs.</p><p>Leo’s free hand came around and began stroking along his upper thigh, and Mike’s breathing quickened still more.  <em> Oh god, please go for the tail… </em></p><p>And then Leonardo released his hold on Mike’s neck, licked it slowly, and said, “...and things were just starting to feel really, really good…” His hand moved down to the inner side of his thigh, and Mike could hardly <em> breathe </em> with the anticipation…</p><p>“When you came in,” Leo said quietly against his ear.  Then abruptly, everything stopped.  Leo removed his hand from Mike’s groin, and his other arm from around his shell, and then he leaned back away from him.  </p><p><em> What??  Nooooo! </em>  Mike swung his head around, trying to see what was going on behind him, and Leo was sitting there practically <em> smirking </em> at him! </p><p>“So now I think you need to make it up to me,” Leonardo said with a glint in his eye.</p><p>Ah.  He should’ve known there would be a catch...</p><p>Leo’s look turned triumphant when he saw Mike’s expression.  He didn’t smile, exactly, but there was definitely a sparkle of amusement in his eyes.  “Go on, then,” he said. And he pointed to the floor.</p><p>For a moment Mike’s stomach tumbled nervously.  Leo knew he didn’t want to start<em> that </em>tonight… didn’t he?  They didn’t have a plan!  HE DIDN’T HAVE A SAFE WORD YET!</p><p>But still he obeyed and slid off the bed to kneel on the floor with his shell to Leo, his heart beating fast.  The truth was, not knowing what Leo was going to do was exactly part of the appeal.</p><p>“Turn this way,” Leo said tersely.</p><p>He turned to see Leonardo had scootched to the edge of the bed and was sitting with his feet on the floor, leaning back slightly with his thighs open wide and his arms braced behind him.</p><p>Mike sighed in relief—clearly mounting him was not his brother’s plan right now.  He shuffled forward on his knees until he was up next to the bed, between Leo’s legs, and dipped his head down between those muscular thighs—</p><p>Leo abruptly stopped him with a hand against his forehead, and Mike looked up.</p><p>“Both hands up.  On the bed,” Leo directed.  His eyes glinted.</p><p>“What?!” Mike protested.  He wasn’t even going to be allowed to take care of himself?!  That was… so not fair!  But before Mike actually voiced any more of a protest, Leo looked at him in a way that clearly meant he would not hear any arguments.</p><p>Jeeze, Leo must have been ready to explode when he walked in, to be this vengeful.  Well… Mike supposed he owed him something for that.</p><p>He obeyed with a resigned huff, and pointedly placed both hands in plain sight on Leo’s thighs. Then he lowered his head again and used his hands and his tongue to tease the cock out, just the way Leo liked.  His brother was completely silent, as usual, though his body tensed and he occasionally sucked in a quick breath, especially when Mike’s tongue circled the tip of the emerged organ.  Mike’s annoyance at the “restrictions” were forgotten when Leo was so obviously enjoying his attentions, and Mike redoubled his efforts, hoping maybe <em> this </em> would be the time he’d get a groan, or maybe even a yell at the big finish.  He licked up and down the length, working in synchronized effort with his hand on the underside, and then took what he could in his mouth while pumping higher up with his hand.</p><p>Leo’s hand came out to grasp his arm, his nails digging in, his breath coming in pants… and Mike went slowly, so slowly, knowing by the way Leo’s bent legs were pressed against the side of the bed that he was ready.  <em> Come on, Leo… just one little groan.... </em></p><p>But that didn’t happen.  Instead, Leo leaned forward and switched to grab the back of Michelangelo’s mask, holding his head in place as he began to pump with his tail to increase the pace.</p><p>Sitting down the way he was, the movement of Leo’s tail was inhibited, so it wasn’t uncomfortable… but oh man did it turn him on.  Mike’s own tail was throbbing by now, but he put both hands back on Leo’s thighs to brace himself, and let Leo fuck his mouth to the extent he was able.  Then the other turtle’s breath hitched, his leg muscles contracted, and his grip on Mike’s mask tightened as he plunged in one last time in a convulsive, muscle-quaking, but completely silent finish.</p><p>Mike kept his mouth sealed around his dick as spasm after spasm went through Leo, putting his energy into not choking on the copious amounts of cum.  Normally when Leo got close he just finished him off with his hands, but this time… god, it was so hot with Leo controlling his head, that even though he could’ve slipped his mask off and gotten free if he really wanted to, instead he just took it, cum and all.</p><p>Leo’s grip on his mask loosened and fell away, his breathing ragged, his legs limp… and Mike detached and went to spit in the garbage can.  When he returned to the bed Leo was flat on his back with his eyes closed, just catching his breath, with his softening cock still on display between his legs.</p><p>Mikey couldn’t help but grin. <em>  Man, I am good! </em></p><p>“Now see?” he said.  “Aren’t you glad <em> now </em> that I walked in on you?  You know you couldn’t get anywhere near that on your own.”</p><p>Leo’s eyes cracked open, and… was that a smile?  Very slowly, and with what looked like great effort, he sat up a little and shifted backward until he was leaning against the wall.  Then he patted the bed in front of him.</p><p>Mike almost tripped and fell, in his haste to obey.</p><p>-=-=-=-=-=-</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Trust Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wow.  Leonardo knew he definitely wouldn’t have any trouble sleeping after <em>that</em>.  He was flopped back on the bed, feeling deliciously wrung out, his body so relaxed it was almost like he didn’t <em>have</em> a body.  Mike was right—he would never have gotten anywhere near this on his own.  It hadn’t been a perfunctory effort by his brother either, in spite of not knowing if there was anything in it for him.  For that, he deserved a little reward.</p><p>Sitting up was difficult; he felt half-mired and sluggish, but he managed it with an effort and invited his brother onto the bed. The look on the younger turtle’s face told Leo he really <em>hadn’t</em> been sure he would get anything in return, which satisfied Leo immensely.</p><p>He indicated for Michelangelo to sit between his legs facing away from him.  Once he was situated, Leo leaned back against the wall and held Mike snug against him.  Michelangelo was practically shivering in anticipation, but Leo started out just nuzzling his neck a little, unhurried.  He knew he could just take care of Mike quickly if he wanted to, and the younger turtle probably wouldn’t be the least bit disappointed.  But though moments ago Leo could have happily drifted off to sleep, now he had no desire to rush—there was a different kind of pleasure in controlling the experience for Mikey.</p><p>With his left arm holding him close, Leo breathed warmly against Mike’s neck, still nuzzling as he skimmed his right hand over Mike’s bridge on his way down to his thigh.  He stayed there for a bit, just feeling the sculpted muscle there and switching to nuzzle the other side of his neck.  Then he moved to the inside of the thigh—Mike was ticklish there, and he jumped a little, tense with expectation.   Leo took his time moving to the tail, and Mike let himself down almost as soon as he touched it, which made Leo smirk in satisfaction.  He ran an open hand softly up and down the slick organ, which grew yet harder at his caress.  </p><p>Mike sighed, and then moaned low in his throat.  Leo couldn’t see his face, of course, but he imagined his brother’s eyes were probably closed, completely shut down to everything but the physical sensations.</p><p>Leo took firmer hold then, encircling the shaft with his hand, but he kept the pace moderate, occasionally passing his hand gently around the head when he reached the tip, eliciting a sucked-in breath or a hiss each time.  Leo nipped his neck lightly—one side, then the other, breathing against it, and picked up the pace slightly. </p><p>“Aaah-h-h,” Mike groaned softly, pressing his head back into Leo’s shoulder and gripping the thighs alongside him with claw-like hands as he began to work his tail slightly.</p><p>That bared neck was too much to resist, and Leo took a gentle grip with his mouth, triggering another moan, and Mike’s tail began to pump more vigorously… so Leo loosened his hold on Mike’s plastron to reach around and take him in both hands.</p><p>At that Mikey groaned quite loudly—too loudly—and Leo released his neck to shush him softly close to his ear.</p><p>“S-sorry,” Mike whispered, and Leo clamped onto his neck again and stroked faster.</p><p>Mike’s breathing turned to ragged panting, and Leo began to feel the occasional twitch that meant he was getting ready...</p><p>And then Leo slowed down drastically.</p><p>Mike made a sound of desperate protest and tried to pump his tail faster, as if that would force Leo to speed up again, but Leo just licked his neck.  Then he whispered, “It would be a shame, wouldn’t it, to stop now?”  </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>What?!</em>  “L-leo…” Mike panted, which was as close as he could come to begging under the circumstances.</p><p>Leo was still gliding his hands along Mike’s cock, but with excruciatingly slowness that sent shivers through Mike’s body.  “It’s almost painful, isn’t it?  To get this close, and not finish…” his brother said.</p><p>It <em>was</em> painful—a tingling, burning, overwhelming <em>need</em> that made him crazy.  Mike was so close, he was almost there…  “I… s-sorry… I didn’t mean… nnngh!”  He cut off when Leo’s hand passed over the head of his cock again.</p><p>“Not so funny, now, is it,” Leo breathed close to his ear.  </p><p>Mike wasn’t even consciously controlling his movements anymore.  His head was pressed back, eyes closed, automatically thrusting harder with his tail to continue that delicious friction against Leo’s hands—oh god, just a little more…</p><p>And then suddenly, Leo’s hands were gone.</p><p>Breathing raggedly, Mike's eyes opened in shock.  He had thought Leo was just toying with him.  He liked to be in control, sure… and Mike liked it too.  More than liked it.  But Leo hadn’t really ever been into actual punishment.</p><p><em>So far,</em> corrected some inner voice.  <em>But you told him to push it more</em><em>—</em><em>maybe this is what he likes.</em></p><p>The moment this possibility crossed his mind, though, he felt something being pushed into his hand, and looked down.  A towel.  The purpose was clear even without Leo’s whispered command to use it, and Mike could have cried in relief as he wrapped it loosely around the end of his cock.</p><p>Then one large hand encircled him again, all the more sublime after the brief withdrawal, and Leo’s other arm returned to hold him firmly across the plastron.  But Leo didn’t stop there.  He hooked both of his legs over Mike’s, effectively pinning them.</p><p>Now Mike could hardly <em>move</em>, except for his tail, and the effect was almost excruciating.  Leonardo sought his neck and resumed stroking, sending flares of pleasure straight through to his core, and within moments Mike was there again, oblivious to anything and everything except the surge building within him.  He huffed and whimpered, helpless against the strong hold on him.  Leo wasn’t biting his neck so much as sucking on it, and the heat in his cock increased as he pumped frantically with his tail—</p><p>And just at the last moment before he crested over, Leo’s hand paused near the tip of his cock, squeezing slightly, and then he rubbed up and down near the head with his thumb.  Michelangelo’s whole body strained and bucked involuntarily against the restraint, and he couldn’t repress a strangled yell as his essence erupted at last in a wave of pleasure so intense it was almost pain, with Leo drawing it out as long as he could by continuing to stroke him until the spasms stopped.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Whoa.</em>
</p><p>That was about all Mike was capable of articulating even in his own head as he slumped back against Leonardo and caught his breath.  It wasn’t until many minutes later, when his legs started to regain some feeling, that it occurred to him what an unusual position he was in—not only were they actually <em>on the bed</em>, but they were still so… close.  Physically.  While normally they might be <em>near </em>each other while they recovered, there wasn’t typically much body contact.  He knew it was just because of how they’d been positioned, but still, it was sort of nice.  Leo was warm, and Mike sure wasn’t about to move unless someone made him.</p><p>Mike pulled in a deep breath, and let his eyes fall shut.  God… that had been<em> intense</em>.  It seemed like it just kept getting better, and for the first time he actually felt a twinge of real excitement over taking things further.  That is, if his brother agreed.  </p><p>Moments later he felt Leo shift slightly behind him, and he figured “cuddle time” was over, but no… his brother settled again with no attempt to move him.  Then, almost as if he’d been reading Mike’s thoughts, Leonardo spoke.  </p><p>“So… if we… went ahead with this… how do you see things starting out?”</p><p>Wow.  Leo really <em>was</em> seriously interested if he was asking practical questions.  Michelangelo shifted a little himself then, trying to rouse himself from his post-orgasm stupor and focus enough to answer the question.  “I dunno… a finger and some lube?” he replied lazily.</p><p>Leonardo was silent as he took that in.  Then he said, “And do you… would you, um… want <em>me</em> to…”</p><p>Mike waited for him to finish the question, but Leo left it hanging so long Mike grew impatient.  “You to what?” he prompted.  “Use your own finger?  Cuz if you don’t even wanna do <em>that</em>…”</p><p>“No, no, I meant… well… if we do this, would you, are you thinking you’d want me to… reciprocate?”</p><p>Mike was puzzled at first, because even though he sometimes couldn’t wait and jerked himself off while he was taking care of Leo, if that didn’t happen he was never left unsatisfied.  But as he sat there, he became aware of how tense his brother felt behind him, and he realized Leo was nervous asking this.  Mike went back over what he’d said… and at last it clicked.</p><p>“Ohhhhhhhhh… you mean, do I wanna plow <em>you</em>?”</p><p>Leo <em>did </em>try and push him away then.  “Look, if you can’t be serious about this,” he said sharply, “then let’s just forget it—”</p><p>“No, hey, I wasn’t—I was being serious!” he protested, bracing himself against Leonardo’s attempts to dislodge him.  “I just, you know, I don’t know the lingo you’re comfortable with!”</p><p>Leo stopped trying to push him off, at least, and Mike kept on talking, trying to get him to relax again.  “You’re asking if I, like, want to <em>mount</em> you?”</p><p>“Why are you acting like that is such a crazy question?!” Leo said, clearly annoyed.</p><p>“It’s, it’s not!” Mike answered honestly.  It was totally a fair question.  “I… I guess I hadn’t thought about it.”  And as soon as he said it, he wondered why that was.  If it was something Leo seemed drawn to, why hadn’t he even once imagined himself in that role?  Hypothetically, it might feel good.  Like, really really good, if it even worked, which they had yet to see.  Was that something he wanted to try?</p><p>“I don’t know…” Mikey said slowly.  “I don’t think so.  I mean, you know, maybe someday?  Who knows?” he shrugged.  “But that would be a separate, um, discussion.  Not part of <em>this</em>, um, arrangement.”  Then it occurred to him that maybe Leo was asking because he <em>wanted</em> Mike to do that to him.  “Why, do you want me to—”</p><p>“No,” came Leo’s immediate and decisive response.</p><p><em>Wow.  Alrighty then.</em>  “Geeze, Leo, stop being so wishy-washy, will you?  I wish just once I could get a straight answer out of you.”</p><p>“Sorry, I wasn’t, like, I didn’t mean to sound so, so—”</p><p>“Repulsed?” Mike supplied with a smile that Leo couldn’t see.</p><p>“No!  I mean, I didn’t mean to sound repulsed either, but that’s not what I was going to say!”</p><p>Mike didn’t answer, even to say that he himself had been rather repulsed at the idea when he at first suspected his brother might be into it.  He was curious to see where Leo was going with this.</p><p>“I, I just meant, um, if that <em>was</em> something you were thinking about… I mean, <em>you</em> offered, so clearly you, you’re okay with it, at least the idea of it, so I’d, you know, consider… I mean I’d think about it…”</p><p>Oh <em>man</em> he really wished he could see Leo’s face right now!  The older turtle was obviously uncomfortable, but trying so hard to sound open-minded…  Maybe it was part of the reason Leo had let him stay where he was, so he wouldn’t be able to see him while they had this conversation.  Damn it, outwitted again!<br/><br/>“...But,” Leo continued, “if you’re asking my, um, honest preference, it  would be—”</p><p>“Hard pass,” Mike interrupted.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Your honest preference would be ‘hard pass.’  <em>No te gusta.</em>  Nopesville.  No chance in hell.”</p><p>“It’s nothing to do with <em>you</em>, personally,” Leo said, his voice almost pleading.  “The idea of it just isn’t… appealing.  At all.  To me.”</p><p>Well it wasn’t surprising, really.  It’s what Mike would have guessed based on his experiences with Leo to date.  In fact, the only real surprise was how forthcoming he was being, especially considering the uncomfortable subject matter.  The crucial thing now was to put him at ease, because he was <em>so close</em> to agreeing to this.  Leo was going to take some delicate handling, and though Mike preferred to be Awesomely Annoying, or Impossibly Infuriating, or Fantastically Funny, he could do Supremely Sensitive if he really put his mind to it.  Yeah, his talents were many and varied.</p><p>So he clapped the muscular thigh alongside his own reassuringly and said, “Lucky for you, I don’t find the idea of being on top all that appealing.  So don’t worry, your tender cloaca is safe with me.”</p><p>Leo snorted a little at that, but he relaxed slightly.</p><p><em>Only</em> slightly.</p><p>“What else?” Mike queried lightly.</p><p>“What else what?”</p><p>“Come on, let’s just get this all out right now.  What else d’ya wanna ask?”  He had left his hand resting on Leonardo’s thigh, but now he let it slide off, knowing his brother would have an easier time communicating without the physical touch.  Other than allowing Mike to continue to sit between his legs and lean back against him, Leo wasn’t touching <em>him</em> either. </p><p>There was hesitation, but Mikey managed to keep his mouth shut and wait, and eventually Leo spoke.</p><p>“If we do this,” he said at last, “what does it… mean?”</p><p>“Mean?” Mike asked, lolling his head to the side even though it didn’t help him see Leo any better. </p><p>“Yeah.  Like… don’t we… don’t you… find it confusing?  I mean, we’re brothers.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“Well don’t you want to... find someone, someday?”</p><p>“Awww Leo, are you asking me to go steady?”</p><p>“What?!  No!”</p><p>Mike snickered.</p><p>Leo huffed a little.  “I mean find someone not related to you.”</p><p>Michelangelo pondered this a moment, and then shrugged lightly.  “Sure, maybe.”  Hey, a guy could dream, right?</p><p>“And you don’t think <em>this</em> is at odds with that?”</p><p>“Why Leo!” Mike said, and now he couldn’t help it—he leaned forward and drew his legs in, pivoting so he was sitting between Leo’s legs still, but facing him at an angle.  “I never took you for a romantic!”</p><p>Leo scowled and drew his legs up too, color rising in his cheeks.  “I’m not!”</p><p>“You <em>are</em>!” Mike insisted with a grin.</p><p>“I’m—”  He cut off, and made a noise of disgust.  “Never mind, this was stupid, let’s just—”</p><p>Shit.  So much for delicate handling.  “No, nonononono I’m sorry, okay?  I didn’t mean it as a bad thing!  I’m kind of a romantic myself, you know?  I dig that stuff!  It’s cool!”</p><p>Leonardo’s face was turned slightly away, and his face still showed traces of a scowl, which was actually a good sign.  When Leo got all cold and expressionless, Mike knew he’d been frozen out, and then it was too late. Angry he could work with.</p><p>“Okay, okay,” he said softly. “I’ll be serious.”  He took a breath and went on, studying Leonardo’s partially averted face.  “Is it weird, to want this?  Maybe.  But what about our lives <em>isn’t </em>weird?  I’m not saying I want to be, like, a couple.  I just don’t see why I should wait around for something else that in all likelihood will never happen, and miss out on something good right now.  You know?”</p><p>It was hard to tell by Leo’s expression whether he got what Mike was trying to say, but he didn’t look angry anymore, and he wasn’t shaking his head or arguing.  So Mike went on.  “It’s not like we don’t <em>care</em> about each other,” he said gently.  “And if one of us meets someone, or we get past the randy hormonal stage and just don’t want to anymore, or it’s not working, this isn’t ‘til death do us part.’  You know?  We just stop.  Simple as that.  All you have to do is say the word.”</p><p>“I <em>did</em> say the word,” Leo interjected.  “Multiple times!”</p><p>“Yeah but you didn’t mean it,” Mikey said dismissively. </p><p>Leo chuffed in wordless amazement at that dizzying logic, but to Mike’s surprise, he didn’t argue.  He just scowled again and looked away, crossing his arms over his plastron.  Mike let him process for at <em>least</em> a good thirty seconds, which he thought was quite generous, before saying, “Sooooo… anything else?”</p><p>And then Leo turned his head until he was looking at him straight on, and said, “Yeah.  One more question.  Why do you try so hard to bury your serious side?  You’re actually…”  Leo cleared his throat, and glanced away again.  “We might see eye to eye more often if you showed it more.”</p><p>Mike sat in stunned silence for a moment—he didn’t know what to say right away, but he felt an odd sense of satisfaction that he’d done something Leo approved of.  Then he found his voice and retorted, “How come <em>you</em> try so hard to bury your fun side?”</p><p>Leo looked up at him again, his expression neutral and searching… and then his facial muscles relaxed slightly.  “I don’t know.”</p><p>Mike stared back at him, and then he smiled.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It did something to him, that smile, made something coiled tightly inside him loosen and unfurl.  It was so <em>easy</em> for Michelangelo to reason that something that felt good was okay, when Leo knew that was not the way things were at all, no matter how much he wished it was so.  But somehow when Mike smiled at him, those blue eyes expressing such unguarded happiness, he wanted to believe it anyway.</p><p>“Anything else?” Mike prompted.</p><p>Leo looked down at the bed, and adjusted his legs a little.  “If we did this.  <em>If</em>,” he emphasized, “then I don’t want it interfering with training.”  He looked up again.  “No more sabotaging sessions to get me alone, no more goofing off just to piss me off.  And <em>definitely</em> no flirting, even if you think you’re sure no one else would notice.”</p><p>Mike watched his face as he spoke, and then canted his head a little, considering.  “If I agree to that… does that mean I won’t have to coerce you into spending <em>quality time</em> with me?”</p><p>Leo gave a mental gulp, but nodded his head yes.</p><p>Michelangelo’s face smoothed and he broke into an easy smile.  “Deal!”</p><p>“We’ll just, you know, plan in advance when to… meet.”</p><p>“Well I’m okay with that,” the younger turtle said slowly, “but dude, you can’t just make excuses all the time so it never ends up actually happening.”</p><p>Wow.  If Leo had had any hope that Mike would agree to anything just to get him on board, that hope was fast fading.  “Well what kind of… frequency… are you thinking?”</p><p>“I’m an every day kinda guy myself,” Mike shrugged, but after a look at Leo’s face he added hastily, “Buuuuut I’m pretty used to flying solo most of the time so… I guess… once a week?”</p><p>“Once a week?!  I don’t even know how we’d be able to find somewhere to be alone that often!”</p><p>“We’re alone now,” his brother pointed out.</p><p>“And you were pretty loud,” Leo answered coolly.</p><p>“Was I?”</p><p>Leo just gave him a Look.</p><p>“Well I blame that on <em>you</em> then,” the younger turtle said.  “How do you expect me to stay quiet through that!  It’s, it’s not <em>natural</em>.”</p><p>“Maybe I need to gag you,” Leo quipped.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>Hoooly shit.  Holy SHIT!  </em>Mike could only stare back at his brother, his heart rate suddenly kicking right up again.  Mike guessed his expression looked a wee bit shocked, because Leo immediately tried to take it back.</p><p>“I didn’t—that wasn’t—I was joking!” </p><p>He looked sincere, like it probably really was just an off-the-cuff remark, but the implications still made Mike’s brain slam on the brakes and grab the first exit to What-ifs-ville.  Because it definitely wouldn’t be much help having a safe word if he couldn’t talk.  And what about choking?  Or tying?  Was that something Leo might do?  Maybe he hadn’t thought this through when he told Leo he could “push it” a bit more...</p><p>A little afraid to hear the answer, Mike said, “Do you… is that something you—”</p><p>“I just said it was a joke!”</p><p>Mike studied his brother’s face for a second.  “I believe you,” he said at last.  Leonardo looked right back at him, as if sensing there was more to it.  His brother was now sitting more or less cross-legged against the wall, while Mike sat facing him with his own legs curled to one side.  But they were still sitting close.  Very close.  “But since it’s come up… do you have, like… certain… things?  Things you wanna… try?”</p><p>Leo’s dark eyes scanned his.  “You mean, like, some kinky wish-list?” he said, his inflection rising at the end like that was an absurd idea.</p><p>“Yes, exactly!  A kinky wish-list!”  Man, why hadn’t he come up with that term?  Leo’s gag comment must have really rattled him.  </p><p>Leo just stared back at him, his mouth slightly open again.</p><p>“Well do you?  Have one?” Mike prompted.</p><p>“Are you serious?”</p><p>“Well yeah.”  When Leo still looked aghast, Mike said, “Like, if you have a journal hidden under your mattress entitled ‘Things I Want to Do to Mikey,’ bust that thing out right now, I wanna read it.”</p><p>“No, Mike, I don’t keep a, a <em>sex journal</em> under my mattress!”</p><p>“Well good.  Because I guarantee Raph will find it if you don’t find a better hiding spot than <em>that</em>.”</p><p>“I don’t have one <em>at all</em>, okay?!”</p><p>“Oh, I’m not saying it has to be a hard copy.  What about on your computer?  Or just in your head, maybe?”</p><p>“No!”</p><p>Leo was sitting more upright now, his legs pulled in as far as he could get them, and very likely regretting that he had invited Mike up on his bed at all.  And man, he loved messing with Leo!  It was like that movie Inside Out—there was a panel before him with all these buttons labeled with things like “Anger” and “Annoyance” and “What the HELL did you just say??”  He just couldn’t resist pressing them!</p><p>But even as entertaining as it was pushing those buttons and watching his brother’s reactions, he really did want to know the answer to his question, which he wouldn’t get if Leo continued to withdraw.  So he made an attempt to rein himself in, and summon Serious Mikey.  Or no, wait.  Serious <em>Michelangelo</em>.  Yes, Michelangelo sounded much more serious than Mikey… </p><p>
  <em>Okay, deep breath… and here we go.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It was endlessly frustrating, how effortlessly Mikey could flip between endearing and infuriating.  Why couldn’t they just <em>have a</em> <em>conversation</em> without the constant joke interruptions??</p><p>Leonardo could not believe he was seriously considering Mike’s proposal.  And just when he started to feel himself caving, Mike would say something that made him start to second-guess himself all over again.  A <em>sex journal?</em>  Did Mike think he was some sort of, of pervert??</p><p>But then the turtle in orange spoke again in a much gentler voice, “It’s okay, you know.”</p><p>Those blue eyes were fixed steadily on him, and once again Mike seemed to have flipped some internal switch.  His manner was serious, and receptive, and somehow calming.</p><p>“No, it’s <em>not </em>okay that you think that’s something I could do!”  Leo wasn’t ready to be soothed just yet.</p><p>“But I didn’t mean that it’s <em>bad</em>,” Mike said ingenuously.  “I mean, I wouldn’t recommend you write them down, cuz that’s just setting yourself up for fraternal humiliation, but like… there’s nothing wrong with having fantasies.”  </p><p>Mike looked very calm as he said this, and so annoyingly relaxed!  Whereas even talking indirectly about this stuff put Leo on edge.  And it made him want to move backwards, to put more space between them… only he was already back against the wall, with nowhere to go without making it obvious how uncomfortable he was.  “I don’t—it’s not—”  He faltered, and then stopped, unsure of what to say.<br/><br/>“Look, Leo—I didn’t bring it up to make you feel bad about it, if… whatever.”  Mike shook his head a little, as if clearing it.  “I just sorta wanna know what… what I might be getting myself into.”<br/><br/>Then Michelangelo did that thing where he held Leo’s eyes for a second, and then looked down at the bed.</p><p>
  <em>Getting himself into??</em>
</p><p>And then in a flood of understanding, Leo’s irritation melted away, and he impulsively leaned forward to put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, clasping gently.  That Michelangelo could have offered himself in that way, only to worry that Leo might have some secret domination agenda…  </p><p>“Mikey, no, no, I—I swear,” he said earnestly, “I haven’t given a thought to any of that stuff!  I guess I like to, to control things, or whatever, but even that wasn’t something I realized until after we started… you know.” </p><p>At this point the younger turtle peeked up at him, his face relaxing.</p><p>“I don’t have any fantasies like <em>that</em>, but…”  Leo went on, feeling it best to be completely honest, “I’ll admit that ever since the last time, I sort of… couldn’t stop thinking about, um… what it <em>might</em> have been like, to—”</p><p>“Fuck me?” Mike volunteered with a bright grin and a sparkle in his blue eyes.</p><p>Leo withdrew his hand from his brother’s shoulder.  <em>Well that was short-lived…</em></p><p>Mike read his expression and laughed.  “I guess we can scratch ‘dirty talk’ off the list, anyway.”  The smile settled a little into more a look of general good humor, and he said, “But seriously, I want you to know that I think it’s okay if you <em>do</em> have fantasies.  Now, or in the future.  Cuz so far I sorta, um... really dig what you do…”</p><p>To Leo’s surprise, a faint blush rose on Mikey’s face when he said this, but he kept on talking.</p><p>“So I’m up for maybe, um, trying some other things?  If anything, yannow, pops in your head down the line?  But I gotta be able to stop you, if it’s not working for me.”</p><p>“And gagging would make that difficult,” Leo observed, nodding to himself. </p><p>“Just a little,” his brother agreed.</p><p>“I get it.”  Mike’s reaction made more sense, now.  “Maybe it’s best if I just… make sure you’re okay with anything new before—”</p><p>“No no no, see, I <em>like</em> the not knowing!  I don’t wanna kill the surprise factor altogether, I just need a tap-out option.”</p><p>Leo watched him through all this, processing silently.  Michelangelo was displaying an odd mixture of apprehension and enthusiasm—he wanted to know if Leo had certain inclinations, but then then a minute later he was saying he didn’t want to know what they were?</p><p><em>He just wants to feel safe with me,</em> Leo realized.  <em>That’s more important to him than knowing the specifics.</em>  Ironically, this was precisely what Leo needed from his brothers in his role as leader—for them to trust him, without having to know every scenario that might come up.  Leonardo was fully aware that such trust came gradually, building only with a slow accumulation of experiences that consistently reinforced his ability to make sound decisions, and as a team they weren’t there yet—not by a long shot. </p><p>And yet here was Michelangelo, the sibling he often felt he had the most trouble relating to, ready to hand it all over.  Just like that.</p><p>Trust wasn’t something Leo took lightly.  It was a great responsibility, and there was reciprocal obligation that came with it.  If Mikey trusted him in this, and they went forward with it, Leo had to be certain he could live up to that trust.  And when he thought of how it felt when they were together… god, it made him shudder just remembering.  What if he couldn’t check himself?  He would have to be especially attuned to his brother’s mood, the nuances of his responses…  It would only take one slip, one small oversight to potentially cross the line.  And if that happened, what would it do to Mikey?</p><p>“Mikey… I would never <em>knowingly</em> do something you’re not comfortable with… but like I said earlier… I’m not sure how much control I’ll have, you know… in the moment.”  It was hard, admitting this, but he met his brother’s eyes because he wanted to make sure he understood.</p><p>Mike looked back at him, his eyes flicking back and forth slightly as he studied him, and then he nodded.  “I’ll risk it.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Out of all of his family members, it was Michelangelo who valued touch the most.  He both gave and received it readily, <em>too</em> readily, according to his brothers, but he couldn’t help it.  He needed it; it made him feel valued and connected and, and, it just plain felt <em>good!</em>  Well.  Except when it was a corrective lash of his father’s staff, or a smack from Raphael.  But even those he didn’t mind so much, because that’s just how much he needed physical contact!</p><p>He had observed, however, that his siblings were very different from him, and very different from each other in this regard.  Donatello didn’t offer physical contact much, in the form of hugs or high-threes or putting an arm around someone, but he received it just fine and even seemed to enjoy it when someone else initiated, which 99% of the time was Mike.  It was almost like Don was just too busy, too self-absorbed to even think of it until someone touched <em>him</em>, and then he remembered he liked it.</p><p>Raphael… well.  Raphael didn’t give <em>or</em> receive touch well.  Which was fucked up, in Mike’s opinion, so he just slathered affection on his grumpy brother.  Everyone needed love, and Raph probably needed it more than anyone, right??  Plus, it was just fun to irritate him.  Heh.</p><p>But Leo was the opposite of Don.  He offered contact fairly readily, but didn’t always like it when someone else touched him.  Not that Leo would object, necessarily, or pull away or anything, but Mike had noticed the body language.  Sometimes he would tense involuntarily, or startle slightly.  Mike didn’t know for sure if touch was distracting to him, or jarring, or maybe he just felt like it was invasion of personal space, but he had learned that if he let Leo be, more often than not he would offer contact on his own terms, be it a friendly arm around his shoulders, or a rub on the head, or a fist bump.</p><p>Leonardo didn’t know it, but that spontaneous clasp to his shoulder at the <em>exact</em> moment Mike needed to feel some connection meant more to him than any words.  It put him at ease, made him feel heard and valued.  Leo could come down on him pretty hard when it came to training stuff, and respect, and living up to expectations, being healthy, proper, productive, meeting his potential, blah blah blah boring stuff like that, but Mike still knew that Leo would do anything to protect him.</p><p>And with that simple touch and a few words of heartfelt reassurance, his apprehension had vanished.  So now, even though Leo was flat-out <em>admitting</em> he didn’t trust himself to stop, it was too late.  Because Mikey didn’t have to think about whether or not he trusted him… he just did.</p><p>“You’ll… risk it?” Leo repeated.</p><p>“Yup.”</p><p>“That’s it?”</p><p>“That’s it,” Mike nodded.</p><p>Leo stared.  Studied him.  And said low voice, “Mikey… are you sure you want to do this?”</p><p>“I’m sure I want to<em> try</em>,” he answered, eyes unwavering.</p><p>Leo looked at him for a long moment, and then his posture eased a little as he let his crossed legs relax and his shoulders fall.  “Okay,” he said at last.</p><p>Mike felt his heartbeat quicken.  “Okay?  As in, you wanna do it?”</p><p>This time Leo didn’t even speak—he just gave a nod, slight but decisive.</p><p>“Okay,” Mike echoed, staring back with equal intensity, his heart still beating faster than normal under his plastron.  Leo’s face was softened by the shadows and the dim lighting in the room, and even more so by the fact that he wasn’t wearing his mask, but his dark eyes were resolute.</p><p>
  <em>Holy shit.  I can’t believe this is actually gonna happen.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Safe Word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Okay, llama!  Llama!” Mike said, abruptly breaking away from his position between Leo and the wall.</p><p>“I haven’t even touched you yet!” Leo protested.</p><p>“I know, I know, it’s just the, the anticipation, okay?”  He was pacing even as he spoke, shaking out his hands and shoulders.</p><p>“Look, if you don’t want to do this—”</p><p>“No, I do, I do!  I just, I need to get, like, mentally <em>prepared</em>.”</p><p>It was Leo who had found this place, a side room off of a corridor that probably used to be used for storage for an old subway line.  It was relatively dry and un-smelly, which was a good find when you lived in the sewers.  Most important of all, it wasn’t too close to the Lair, or anyplace underground they frequented.  </p><p>“Sure,” Leo said, spreading his hands placatingly.  “Take your time.”</p><p>Mike nodded, but continued moving, pacing a few steps in one direction before wheeling to go the other way. There wasn’t much room, but it wasn’t the small space that was getting to him.  They even had light, having brought one of the many battery powered lanterns they kept at the Lair for excursions or maintenance projects.  No one would miss this one if it was left here.  </p><p><em>Take it easy</em>, Mikey told himself.  <em>What’s the big deal?  It’s just his finger…  Won’t even hurt, probably.  It’s just awkward, that’s all.</em></p><p>Michelangelo glanced over at his brother, who had taken a couple of steps back to give him space and was trying to look unconcerned.   Mike knew Leo wouldn’t pressure him to go through with this, and that thought alone helped him decompress, like he’d just taken a deep calming breath.  <em>I can stop.  Anytime I want.</em>  Then he <em>did </em>take a deep breath, and rolled his shoulders out again.  He looked at Leo, who looked steadily back at him, waiting for his decision.  Mike took another breath and nodded, walking over to the wall again.  “Okay.  I’m ready.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Leonardo asked, but even as he spoke he began approaching.</p><p>“Just, don’t ask that, okay?  It makes me even jumpier.”  Mike turned to face the wall, made of standard brick and concrete, and placed his palms against the cool, rough surface.</p><p>His brother moved in close behind him.  “You ready?”</p><p>“Yes.  No!  Just… okay.  Just give me a countdown.”</p><p>“A countdown?”</p><p>“Yeah, like… count of three, then go.”  Mike couldn’t see his brother’s face to know if he was exasperated by this or not, but Leo didn’t give any audible indication of it if he was.</p><p>“Okay then.  One…”</p><p>“Wait!” Mike squawked. “Did you do the lube?”</p><p>“I still have some on my finger, since we haven’t done anything yet.”</p><p>“Well maybe you should apply a little more.  It might have dried, or something, with the delay,” he suggested, craning his neck around.</p><p>“That’s—you know what, sure.  Sure thing.  I’ll do a little more.  Just in case.”</p><p>Mike knew Leo was humoring him, but all he did was nod his head and turn back to the wall, fighting an uprising of butterflies in his stomach.</p><p>“Okay.  There.  Double lubed and ready to go.”</p><p>“Great.  Don’t forget the countdown.”</p><p>To Leo’s credit, he didn’t give so much as a sigh of exasperation.  “Ready?”</p><p>“I told you to stop asking that!”</p><p>This time there was an audible exhale, but his brother simply started counting.  “One… two…”</p><p>A light touch on Mike’s tail made him jump.  “Llama!” he blurted out again before he could stop himself.</p><p>Immediately Leo withdrew, and Mike pivoted to face him. </p><p>“Sorry!” Mikey said quickly.  “I didn’t mean to— you just startled me, that’s all!”</p><p>“I startled you?!  You asked me to do a countdown!”</p><p>“Yeah, you were supposed to go on ‘three.’  Who goes on <em>two</em> if the countdown is to three??”</p><p>“I thought you meant I should be ready for, to, to <em>insert</em> on three!  I need a second to get… properly lined up!”</p><p>Mike huffed.  “<em>Then what is the point of a countdown?</em>”</p><p>“I really have no idea,” Leo answered deadpan.</p><p>They just stood, facing each other, and after a moment Leo sighed softly and said, “Look, just… tell me exactly what you want me to do.  Do you need another minute?  Or do you want to… try again another time?”</p><p>Mike stared at him, his heart still beating faster than it should have been.  Then he shook his head. “No, I mean… we’re here.”  He shrugged.  “Brought the lube and everything.”  And a towel.  And a garbage bag.  And some hand sanitizer—Leo’s idea.  And Leo had already gotten him off, too, something they’d both agreed was necessary before any experimentation began.  So he should be relaxed now, for sure.  But instead he was all keyed up, jumpy as a kangaroo on a trampoline.</p><p>“Okay.”  Leo was looking back at him calmly.  “So.”  He turned his palms up, though his arms were still hanging down more or less at his sides.  “You want me to wait until three to… touch you?”</p><p>Mike swallowed, and nodded.</p><p>Leo’s brows drew down, his eyes scanning Mike’s face intently.  Then he said, “You told me I’m not supposed to keep asking if you’re sure you’re okay with this.  But you’ve used the safe word three times in the last five minutes, and we haven’t even started.  You have to admit that doesn’t exactly scream ‘okay.’”</p><p>Leaning back against the wall behind him, Mike took a breath and let it out slowly before saying, “I’m just… a little nervous, I guess.”</p><p>“Nervous that… it might hurt?”</p><p>Michelangelo hitched his shoulders in a light shrug.  “I dunno… a little, maybe.”  The truth was, Mike hadn’t bothered to analyze exactly <em>why</em> he was so nervous.  It just felt… significant, different from their other activities, for which any initial awkwardness had quickly been superceded by how fucking <em>amazing</em> it felt.  Well… maybe this would turn out the same way.  He just had to suck it up and do it.</p><p>“Mikey, I don’t want to do this if you’re not—”</p><p>“No no, I’m good,” Mike hasted to assure him.  “I mean I <em>will</em> be good.  It’s just… strange, you know?  This part is.  I’ve never had anything, you know, go <em>up</em> there, before, but like, I just have to look at this as more like… practice.  Right?”  He shut up then, and met Leo’s eyes.</p><p>The older turtle’s brow smoothed, his expression softening.  “I get it.  It is strange.  It’s strange for me, too.  I’ve never put my finger up anyone’s tailpipe before.”</p><p>A bloom of warmth spread inside Mike’s chest at those words.  He hadn’t really been thinking of how awkward this would feel for Leo.  Okay, like, it wasn’t the <em>same</em>, because he wasn’t the one being fingered, but it still wasn’t something to be relished, right?  Your finger up someone else’s rear?  And just like that, his nerves went from a firm seven to barely a three.  This was going to be awkward for both of them, and it was going to be okay.  His relief made him feel so much better that he even took the opportunity to needle his brother.</p><p>“You can say ‘ass’, dude.  It’s okay.  You’re not gonna get in trouble.”</p><p>By Leo’s expression, he knew Mike was trying to trigger him, and he ignored the comment.  “So we’re good to go, then?”  </p><p>“Yeah, I think I’m ready for a little ass-probing now.  How far up do you think you’re gonna go?” he chatted casually as he once again turned around and assumed the position.  “Cuz I wanna prepare myself for the proper level of ass invasion I’m about to experience.  With your finger.  Up my ass.  I wonder what the inside of my ass feels like?  I hope it doesn’t feel <em>slimy</em>.  That would be weird, right?  Right Leo?”  He turned his head to try and sneak a look at his brother, who was close up behind him again now, but he couldn’t really see him.  “But then again better slimy than, like, pasty,” he continued.  “All thick and pasty, like—eep!” he squeaked in surprise as Leo grasped his tail firmly and in one quick motion inserted his finger.  It wasn’t in very far, but it was definitely<em> in</em>, and Mike tensed involuntarily but didn’t jump away.</p><p>“Oh look at that,” Leo said dryly.  “I think I found the off switch.”</p><p><em>Touché</em>, thought Mike.  And he probably would have even laughed, if he didn’t currently have a finger in his ass.  “No wonder… no one’s ever found it before,” he managed.  It was the best he could come up with under the circumstances.</p><p>Surprisingly, Leo barked a laugh.  “I should hope not,” he said.  That comment seemed to remind him what they were doing here, because the older turtle’s next words focused back on logistics.  “So… now what?”</p><p>“Now what what?” Mike asked.  Leo was still holding his tail firmly, and he supposed he was getting used to the finger inside him.  Just as he’d hoped, it didn’t hurt, not even a little.  It just felt weird.</p><p>“Well how are you… feeling?  Do you want me to reposition, or…?”</p><p>Mike shifted a little where he was standing.  “I feel.  Um.  Okay.  I guess.  Maybe just kinda… move around?”</p><p>“Like how?” Leo said.</p><p>“I don’t know, just… reposition.  SLOWLY.”</p><p>In response Leo twisted his finger a little, which made Mike tense again, just at the change in pressure.</p><p>“Still okay?”</p><p>“I guess…” Mikey answered.  It didn’t feel <em>good</em>, but he hadn’t expected it to.</p><p>“What next?”</p><p>“I don’t know, Leo!” he snapped.  “You’re the one driving!”</p><p>“Well I guess I missed the manual, because I don’t know what to do!  You know how hard this is when I can’t even <em>see</em> anything?!” he shot back, his voice colored with frustration.</p><p>“Well I’ll just turn around, then!”  Mike didn’t know why he was getting so annoyed, because logically he knew Leo was fumbling his way through this as much as he was.  Well, <em>more</em> so actually, from a literal definition.  He started to turn, and Leonardo withdrew and stepped back a little.  Then they were facing each other again. The awkwardness was so apparent, it was like Napoleon Dynamite was right there in the room with them.</p><p>Leo stood there, waiting, his right hand held down but away from his body, fingers splayed.</p><p>Mike eased back until he felt his carapace hit the brick wall, and took a deep breath.  “Okay,” he said in a calmer voice.  “Let’s try it this way.”</p><p>Leo hesitated, looking for a moment like he was going to object, but then he stepped in closer, stopping with maybe a foot of space between them.  He cleared his throat.  “You want me to… lube up again?”</p><p>“Uh, sure,” Mike answered.  Couldn’t hurt…</p><p>His brother obligingly took a small tube out of his belt pocket, and squeezed out a few drops onto his index finger.  Then he looked up at Mike, and there was not a trace of his usual cool confidence visible in his demeanor.  “Okay.  Ready.”</p><p>Mike nodded, and Leo took another awkward step forward to close the gap between them.  If things had been awkward before, now they were <em>really</em> awkward.  Like epic levels of awkward.  At least before, he could just stare at the wall… now he didn’t know where to put his eyes.  He really didn’t want to watch Leo the whole time, but completely turning away seemed somehow rude.  He settled for staring vaguely over his brother’s left shoulder.</p><p>Leo cleared his throat again.  “You’re going to have to widen your stance a bit.”</p><p>Oh, right!  Mike looked down and spread his legs until there was more room between his thighs.  Then he returned to staring at the far wall.</p><p>“Do you want a countdown?”</p><p>Mike shook his head.  Now that the entrance had been breached, so to speak, the anticipation was gone.  “No, just, go for it.”  He was still tense, though. They were practically plastron to plastron, which made it a lot harder to mentally distance himself from what they were doing.  He felt Leo’s hand grasp his tail, but this time he didn’t jump.  And then his finger was easing in again.  Now Mike didn’t know what to do with his <em>hands</em>.  There was nothing to hold, nothing to brace on, except his brother, and that kind of contact seemed too... intimate for this activity.  Which was weird, because what could be more intimate than letting Leo finger-fuck him?</p><p>Finger fuck.  Ha. He’d have to remember that one, for next time he wanted to annoy his brother.</p><p>After holding still for a moment, Leo said, “Okay, I’m going to try, um, moving around.  Just let me know if anything’s too uncomfortable.”</p><p>Mike darted a glance at Leo’s face and nodded, but his body was already tensing in expectation.  The finger pressed in a little more, and then slowly rotated, exerting internal pressure.  It wasn’t painful exactly… uncomfortable, maybe.  Then he felt pressure exerted against the rim of the opening itself, and <em>that </em>was just… okay, no.  Nononono.</p><p>“Okay, stop.  Stop.  That’s enough, I can’t, it’s just, it’s too… No.  I’m sorry, but this isn’t gonna work!”  Leo had actually retracted instantly at the very first “stop,” but Mike was so flustered he’d just kept on talking.</p><p>“Sorry, I was being as careful as I could!” Leo said, looking stricken as he stepped back.</p><p>“No no, it’s not you, you didn’t do anything wrong!  It’s just, it’s me—I mean, this just doesn’t… feel right.”</p><p>“Did I hurt you?” Leo asked.</p><p>“No, no, you didn’t hurt me.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”  Leo’s eyes were wide, almost panicked, which was actually a little shocking to see.  Even in battle, when the tide was turned against them, Leo never looked like this.  Fearless Leader never let his panic show… but he was now.</p><p>“I’m sure,” Mike said firmly.  It actually helped him calm down, seeing his brother so shaken.  “It’s not… comfortable, but you didn’t hurt me.”  He met and held Leonardo’s eyes, and he saw the fear drain slowly away, and his shoulders fall with relief.</p><p>“I, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Michelangelo continued.  “I was doing fine, and then suddenly—”</p><p>“It’s okay, I’m glad you spoke up.”  Leo exhaled, and rolled his shoulders a little.  “I told you we don’t have to do this.  Maybe it’s better if we just forget it—”</p><p>“Wait, what?”  Mikey’s eyes snapped back to Leo’s.  “I never said I wanted to give up.”</p><p>Those dark eyes searched his own, openly confused.  “But we tried.  That’s all you agreed to do, and it didn’t work out.  So what else can we—”</p><p>“It’s just, not sexy <em>at all</em>, is it.”</p><p>By his expression, Leo was more confused than ever.  “What?”</p><p>“This,” Mike said, gesturing as if drawing a line in the air between the two of them.  “There’s no, no spark here.  It’s like I’m in Don’s lab or something, being poked and prodded and experimented on.  That makes what’s happening even <em>more</em> weird and uncomfortable!”</p><p>Leo just stared at him, trying to understand.</p><p>“Did you find any of that at all sexy?  Or even pleasant in any way?”</p><p>“Well.  No,” his brother answered.  “Actually… I wish I could wear a glove,” he said, holding up his right hand and looking at it with a grimace of obvious disgust.</p><p>Finding two-fingered exam gloves was a lost cause, as Donatello’s exhaustive searching had confirmed, so Leo had no choice but to go in bare-handed.  Which must have driven Mr. Neat Freak crazy!   As Mike looked at Leo’s face, his lip curled in disgust, the hilarity of the situation struck him full force, and he laughed out loud.  Leo looked at him, even more confused, and Mike laughed all the harder.</p><p>“What’s funny?”</p><p>“This!  Us!” Mikey cackled, his arms crossed over his abdomen.  “You, you just… hahaha… had your finger… up my ass!  Hee haha, just, wiggling it around in there…”  He bent and clutched his knees, laughing all the harder.</p><p>“So… you did all this to PRANK me?!”</p><p>“No, no,” Mike gasped, and even though Leo looked pissed, he couldn’t quite stop laughing.  He gestured in a ‘waving away’ motion.  “No, that would be a good one, ahahaha, but I would’ve, haha, if I was pranking you I’d be ass-probing YOU!”  Then he bent again, hardly able to <em>breathe</em> at the mental picture of it.</p><p>“Okay,” Leo cut in.  “Let’s just pack up.  This obviously isn’t going to work.”</p><p>At that Mike straightened and made an effort to school his mirth, wiping his eyes and taking a deep breath.  Leo always did have trouble laughing at himself.  “No, no, okay, I just—you can’t see how this is even a <em>little</em> bit funny?”</p><p>Leo, arms crossed over his plastron, merely glared.</p><p>Mike shook his head.  “Never mind then.  Okay.  So what we have here is just a bit of a… snag.  It’s not game over!  It’s just a reset to the last save point, right?”</p><p>Leo rolled his eyes upward at the analogy, and then looked back at him, his face unreadable.  “Okay, what else do you suggest, then?”</p><p>“Well, I’m, I dunno exactly…”  As soon as the words were out, he saw Leo exhale and cast his gaze down at the floor.  He was obviously already writing off that possibility that Mike could come up with anything that would salvage this crazy idea of theirs.  But just because he didn’t have a plan <em>yet</em> didn’t mean— “Just, just give me a minute!  I need to, to brainstorm!”  Yes.  Brainstorming was an official part of the scientific process, right?  He’d heard Donny say it loads of times!</p><p>Leo looked up again, his body language still closed off, his expression guarded.  But he didn’t make a move to depart, so Mike took the opportunity to think furiously.  The problem was that their attempts so far had been so… cold.   All of the things that had made it seem exciting in the first place were missing, but how could he fix that?   Leo was squicked by the very idea of finger-probing him, and Mike wasn’t turned on by it, either.  But he still felt like he needed some sort of preparation, some middle ground before they went all the way.  So what could they…  </p><p>Mike blinked, and then raised his eyes to his brother again, his heart beating a little faster now.  Maybe it was crazy.  But it was the best idea he had.  “Okay, how ‘bout this.”</p><p>Leo waited expectantly.</p><p>“What if instead of your finger... you use your dick instead?”</p><p>Leo’s brows shot up.  Before he could speak, though, Mike added, “But not all the way!   Just a little!”</p><p>The older turtle’s eyes widened a bit.  “You want me to…?”</p><p>Mike nodded rapidly.</p><p>“<em>Now??</em>”</p><p>There was a note of panic in Leo’s voice, and Mike could totally relate.  His heart was still beating too fast, but the thing was, he could already feel a difference.  In spite of Leo’s visible shock, there was a change there, an electricity that pricked along Mike’s skin and made him shiver slightly.  “Yeah.  I mean, we’re here… who knows when we’ll get another opportunity.”  His mouth had gone slightly dry, and he swallowed in an attempt to bring some moisture back.</p><p>“I, but, we weren’t going to do anything like that for, for… we’re not prepared for that!”</p><p>Mike shrugged, and even managed a quirk of a smile.  “What, did you forget your dick at home?”</p><p>Leo didn’t even rebuke him for the crude comment.  He just studied Mike’s face closely, and the younger turtle could see that his brother wanted to do this… oh yes.  He could see it in the quickened breathing, the slightly open mouth, the shrinking of his pupils.  Now <em>this</em> was more like it.</p><p>Michelangelo took a step closer.  “So, what do you say?”</p><p>“I, I don’t…”  Leo hesitated, still staring at him.  “...Are you sure?” he asked with a ragged edge to the soft-spoken question.</p><p>Mikey took another step towards his brother.  “We start real slow,” he said by way of answer, mirroring Leo’s volume.  “Just… go in a little bit, and hold position for a minute, and then pull out again.  And if that much is okay, we can repeat.”  Another step, and he was within arm’s reach.  “What do you say?”</p><p>Leonardo looked at him, stared into his eyes, and even though he looked like he wasn’t at all sure, the only word that came out was a breathy, “Okay.”</p><p>A warm thrill swept over Mike, even as his stomach tumbled nervously.  He closed the remaining space between them, and slowly reached up to seize either side of Leonardo’s carapace.  Then he stepped backward, drawing Leo along with him, until he felt his own shell bump the wall again.  When Mike dropped his arms from his shell, Leonardo reached up to place his hands on Mikey’s upper arms, rubbing gently with his thumbs.  </p><p>Mike thrilled at the touch, his skin, his whole body waking to it.  Leo bent his head down to the hollow of his neck, breathing warmly, and nuzzled before raking lightly with his teeth.</p><p>“S-see?” Mike rasped.  “Better already.”</p><p>Leonardo nodded close to his neck.  “Better,” he agreed.  He pressed closer, making Mike feel pinned, and ran his hands up to his shoulders, kneading firmly.  Then he nipped Mike’s shoulder, licked lightly, and switched to the other side of his neck.</p><p>Mike sighed with pleasure, his hands automatically moving to hold Leo lightly by the sides of his shell again as Leo nuzzled and nibbled, running his hands over Mike’s hard muscles.  Now <em>this</em> was more like it.</p><p>In a moment, though, Leo drew back slightly, just enough that their plastrons were no longer touching even as his hands still remained on Mike’s shoulders.  The leader was slightly breathless, his chest rising and falling visibly.   In the rich depths of those dark eyes that stared out from the cobalt mask, there was none of the timidity he’d shown earlier when he said in a husky whisper, “Now.”</p><p>Mike’s eyes widened just slightly as his breathing picked up even more.  Leo’s gaze turned downward then, between them, and Mike’s eyes followed to see Leo’s erection jutting out between them.  His eyes flew back up to his brother’s face, his eyes wide with shock.  The older turtle hardly ever let himself down this quickly, preferring to show how much control he had by making Mike work a little for it.  But today… either Leonardo didn’t expect to follow their usual habits, or he just couldn’t help himself.</p><p>It made him simultaneously afraid, and incredibly turned on.  If he hadn’t just gotten off, he probably would have started developing a hard-on of his own just from this, but right now it was a deeper stirring, a warmth that spread and enveloped him, but without urgency.  </p><p>The afraid part, well… that was both because of what they were about to do, and also because Leo was already showing indications that he maybe wasn’t in full control of himself—but Mike had said that he trusted Leo, and that hadn’t changed.  He was nervous about the next part, but he obligingly widened his thighs and consciously lowered his tail so it was more accessible.  Then he swallowed hard, almost nauseous with anticipation, and nodded his consent.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>At Mike’s nod, Leonardo exhaled, and slowly ran his hands down Mike’s sculpted shoulders before skimming over his bridge and coming to rest on his upper thighs.  His stomach tumbled nervously, but it wasn’t enough to affect his performance—he was so hard he <em>ached</em>.  Holding himself in had proved impossible.</p><p>But now he <em>had</em> to find some way of controlling himself.  This was only the first step—you couldn’t perform the kata without first practicing the forms.  So, easy does it… patience… patience was something that usually came naturally to him, he just had to find a way to tap into that now.  He looked down between them, and reached in a slow, smooth motion for Mike’s tail.  Other than a slight tremble, the younger turtle didn’t flinch, and Leo glanced up to make sure he was okay with this step.</p><p>Those blue eyes looked back at him, wide but not panicked.  So far so good.  Leo looked down again, holding his brother’s tail so gently, and angled it so the cloaca was in a good position.  He glanced up to Mike’s face again just briefly, and then began to line his jutting organ up with the slit.  He was breathing so fast, he was beginning to feel light-headed, but he kept going.  He didn’t have any preconceived plan for this, he was just breaking it down as he went, one step at a time.  Things were more or less aligned, so what made sense next?  He had to control the penetration.  So he took hold of himself with his left hand near the head, his cock pulsing and filling yet more, though he wouldn’t have thought that was possible.  Then he placed the head of his erect member near that enticing entrance, right against it without going in, and oh god… just imagining slipping in there made him break into a sweat… He couldn’t slow his breathing down, couldn’t even draw a long enough breath to regain some calm, but he <em>had</em> to, somehow, or he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t…</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Mike’s eyes were closed, his heart hammering as he waited for the pressure against his opening to advance, to push into him, someone else’s body intruding on his own...  He could feel the heat pouring off Leonardo, but still he was tense and rigid with apprehension as he waited… any second now…</p><p>“I, I can’t,” Leo panted suddenly, and Mike cracked his eyes open.  “I c-can’t…” he repeated, and for a split second Mike actually thought he was calling a halt.  But then he continued, “YOU have to control this.”  And he turned fevered eyes up to look into Mike’s own.</p><p>“<em>Me?</em>” Mike yelped.  It was hard enough just to remain standing right now!  How could he be the one to… advance things?</p><p>“You have to,” Leo insisted raggedly, “I can’t—I don’t trust myself to...hold back,” he said, and he was staring beseeching at Mike, pleading with his eyes.</p><p>As he stared back, Michelangelo noticed the sheen of sweat on Leo’s brow, and looking down between them, the tremble of the hand encircling his engorged cock, poised for entry.</p><p>“YOU do it,” Leonardo pressed, “and keep hold in case I… in case.”</p><p>Dumbly, he moved to do as Leo instructed, reaching down to take intimate hold of his brother first with one hand, and then, when Leo withdrew, with both hands.  The rigid organ pulsed, and with nothing left to hold, Leonardo braced his arms against the wall on either side of him.</p><p><em>This</em> was not the role Mike had expected to have.  This was supposed to be something that was done<em> to</em> him, not something he initiated!  He was notorious for psyching himself out over stuff like this.  Like when they needed vaccinations, he knew the shot itself wouldn’t hurt that much, and pain itself he could take, even pain that was pretty bad.  It was the anticipation of it he had trouble with.  Don said it was his vivid imagination, and he was probably right, because now he was just imagining all the stuff that could go wrong with this!</p><p>Donatello had told them all the basics about their bodies—turtles, unlike humans, had just one opening that handled everything.  Urination, defecation, sex… just one place to go.  Even males and females were the same, right up until you hit the internal sex organs, which were quite a ways upstream.  So, it stood to reason that if <em>female</em> turtles’ tailpipes could withstand penetration, his could too… but what if it wasn’t the same for mutant turtles?  What if this damaged him, or something?</p><p>Now <em>Mike</em> had broken into a sweat.  But the slick organ pulsed under his hand again, and even strained forward a little, almost like it had a mind of its own.  By the sound of Leo’s breathing, he was ready… and so Mike swallowed, and did a silent countdown in his head.</p><p>
  <em>One…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Two…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Three!</em>
</p><p>Holding his tail stiff, he let the tip of Leo’s cock press against his opening until it slid in just a little—hardly more than an inch.  Mike sucked in a quick breath, not so much in physical pain as just a reflexive mental reaction to something long anticipated.  But he quickly realized it <em>was</em> uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than having Leo’s finger there, though he wasn’t any farther in right now.  His opening burned a little from being slightly stretched, and the internal pressure was greater than just his brother’s finger, which made sense since his dick was thicker.  But at least the pressure was uniform… that made it somehow less <em>weird.</em></p><p>Michelangelo took a moment to just… adjust, and process, and try not to FREAK OUT that his brother’s dick was actually <em>inside</em> him!  Well… a little, anyway.  Physically, it wasn’t pleasant—at least not for him.  For Leo, though… it was hard to say.  Leonardo was so far unresponsive, just standing with his arms still braced on either side of him, his head bent in towards Mike’s left shoulder, his breathing even.</p><p>“You, you okay?” Mike managed, and it was so quiet down here that even at a low volume his voice seemed to swell to fill the small room.</p><p>Leonardo merely nodded, and Mike couldn’t see his face, but the slight throb under Mike’s hands, as well as inside him, gave a truer answer.  It wasn’t just bearable for Leo, wasn’t uncomfortable or strange, or at least not <em>bad</em> strange.  He was silent and unmoving because he was trying very hard to maintain control.  Pressed against the wall with those powerful arms on either side of him, and knowing how much Leonardo <em>wanted</em> him, Mike felt an unconscious  easing of the muscular tension in his tail, just the slightest give, and he spontaneously let Leo advance a bit further.</p><p>And then, to his amazement, he heard his brother give a soft but unmistakable groan.</p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>Oh god.</em>  He had been doing so well, focusing on his breathing and holding his body still so Mikey could set the pace, control the penetration, but this… the warmth, the exquisite pressure, even if he wasn’t very far in… it was almost enough to make him lose himself.  He wanted more; he wanted to plunge in until he felt resistance, to pin his brother to the wall and fuck him until he came unraveled from within…</p><p>Instead he shook his head slightly and tried to school his erratic breathing, willing himself to relax.  Fortunately his self control wasn’t put to the test just then.  It was both a relief and a disappointment when Michelangelo took things firmly in hand—literally.  Mike eased him back until he was completely out.  Leo let out a breath, and simultaneously slumped a little, relaxing his weight more against the wall.  His head was still bent close to Mikey’s shoulder, and as he tried to catch his breath, he brushed his brother’s skin with his mouth.</p><p>“Still okay?” Mikey said in a voice barely above a whisper, and Leonardo nodded again.  His brother was still holding him, but loosely, and Leo just held still, letting him decide what to do next.  After a minute or so, when Leo’s breathing had slowed a little, Michelangelo said, “Ready to try again?”</p><p>His voice came out a little hesitant, or maybe just nervous?  Leo couldn’t blame him for that.  He bowed his head still farther and lipped the top of Mike’s shoulder, just at the ridge of that beautiful Trapezius muscle.  “Okay,” he whispered, and took said muscle in his teeth, just lightly, dragging along the skin as he pulled back a moment later.  Mike shuddered, and Leo’s cock throbbed again at the reaction.</p><p>Backing off a little to give his brother some room between them, Leonardo once again tried to focus on his breathing as Mike got things situated.  Then it came again, more smoothly this time—the press of his sensitive organ against an opening, followed by the soft yielding of flesh that enveloped him in warmth.  His breathing quickened involuntarily; he couldn’t stop that, but he tried to keep it even.  <em>In and out… easy does it…</em></p><p>When he was eased in just a little farther, Leo’s fingers curled as he pressed his hands harder against the wall, and his tail pushed forward of its own accord.  Mike’s hands encircled him, holding him steady, but still Leo clenched his jaw and fought for control.  <em>Think of… golden grass, waving in the breeze… a red kite standing up against a serene blue sky… a rowboat bobbing gently in a sheltered cove…  Let your body relax, go with the flow.</em></p><p>In a fraction farther, and his breathing hitched in spite of it all.  He squeezed his eyes shut.  <em>Oh my fucking god… </em>There was no describing what it felt like, no comparison for it.  It was so <em>tight</em> it seemed like he barely fit, yet the flesh yielded just enough to make him want to push in deeper.  His aching cock pulsed, followed by another involuntary jerk of his tail, and now he was practically clawing the wall, his breathing coming in rasps as the warm tide within threatened to overflow.</p><p>“M-mikey,” he gasped, “I can’t—”  He couldn’t even finish the warning as he pressed himself against Michelangelo, and somehow, without even knowing when he’d switched, his hands were now gripping the other turtle by the upper arms, fingers digging in to the hard muscle.  He was barely aware of what he was doing anymore; the urge to thrust was so strong it almost overrode his caution—and then, suddenly, the delicious warmth that surrounded him receded, replaced instead by strong hands that stroked firmly along his slick shaft.  Then at last he <em>did</em> begin to thrust with his tail, panting and pressing forward in a mindless frenzy as the heat mounted and blasted through him, until it burst forth at last in great convulsive waves that left him weak and shaking.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>It wasn’t the unrestrained yell Mike was hoping for, but Leo did at least make <em>some</em> noise when he came, even if it was quiet and mostly stifled.  Even that much was a small victory.  But what was almost <em>more</em> satisfying was his brother, the Fearless Leader, trembling as he slumped against him, weak as a newborn lamb.</p><p>Mike wrapped both arms around Leonardo’s shell and just held him while he recovered, savoring the closeness, the warmth of the other turtle’s breath against his neck, and the occasional brush of lips along his skin.  It made him feel warm down to his core, and made the painful, stinging,<em> stretched</em> feeling in his tail seem unimportant.  Gradually Leo’s trembling muscles stilled and his breathing eased, and he stirred, slowly straightening from his slumped position to stand more upright.</p><p>“Welcome back to Earth,” Mike murmured softly.  Leo’s response to that was to shake his head gently, and then pull back to look at his face.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Leo asked immediately, his brows drawn in familiar lines of concern.</p><p>“Yeah,” he answered after a thoughtful pause.  “I’m okay.”  </p><p>“Was it… did it… hurt a lot?”</p><p>His brother’s eyes were dark with apprehension, and for a moment Mike considered making light of it for Leo’s sake… but instead he decided to be completely honest.  He didn’t think there was much chance of his brother backing out of their arrangement now—especially after seeing his reaction.  “It hurt,” he said matter-of-factly.  “But not a lot.”</p><p>Leo’s brows drew down still more.</p><p>“I mean I didn’t expect it not to hurt <em>at all</em>… but I think it’s good we’re going slow,” he elaborated.</p><p>Leo shifted his gaze down and shook his head.  “Mikey, I’m sorry if I… I just couldn’t—I’ll do better next time, okay?  I’ll practice, you know, with meditation, if you…”  His eyes peeked up again here, uncharacteristically bashful.  “If you want to… keep going with this.”</p><p>“Dude, you don’t have to apologize.  I think things went pretty well, actually.”</p><p>Leo looked down again.  “Only because <em>you</em> were controlling it.  If not for that…”  He shook his head slowly.</p><p>Mike tightened his arms around him a little.  “Yeah, but <em>you </em>did that.  You put me in charge, and it was a good call.  In fact, I think we should keep doing it that way, at least for now.”</p><p>The turtle in blue looked up again, searching his eyes, and then he nodded his agreement.</p><p>“I think it’ll get easier, for both of us,” Mike assured him.</p><p>Leo nodded again, but his expression seemed more relaxed now.  His eyes moved to the door, though, and then back to Mikey.  “We should probably be getting back,” he said gently.</p><p>Clearly, snuggle time was over and Leo’s mind was back on business.  Well, it was good while it lasted, Mike decided.  He sighed and reluctantly let his arms drop from his brother’s shell.</p><p>They gathered up the salvage items they’d hastily collected just before meeting down here, a convenient cover for their time away from the Lair together, and headed back on foot.  Leonardo had argued that it was too risky to bring a Slider, in case anyone spotted it parked while they were… busy.  They also stopped and rinsed off in one of the many freshwater spillways along the way.</p><p>As they walked, Michelangelo’s thoughts and feelings were difficult to untangle.  He wondered what Leo was thinking, looking sideways at him from time to time, but he didn’t ask.  Leonardo, for his part, was equally quiet, his expression unreadable.</p><p>When at last they reached the hidden entrance to the Lair, they stood silently side by side as they waited for the door to open.  Then their eyes met one last time, and with a wordless nod of acknowledgement, they stepped over the threshold to go their separate ways.</p><p>It wasn’t until he was alone in his bedroom, his tail still aching dully, that it really sank in.  He had just <em>had sex </em>with his <em>brother</em>.  He couldn’t call himself a virgin anymore—not even a technical one.  And even as quick as he’d been to assure Leo that he was okay with it, his stomach tumbled at the thought.</p><p>-=-=-=-=-</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Author's Note:  Gee, I hope no one thought I was going to skip the awkward in this story... the awkward is what I LIVE for!  GAH so much fun!  *rubs hands gleefully*  More to come, stay tuned!  ~KT</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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